Bagged and Boarded Comic Reviews: Classic Creepy Comics, The Walking Dead, and more!
Gift Guide: Edgar Allan Poet
"Once upon a tell-tale storm" isn't quite as catchy as "Once upon a midnight dreary," but with this set of Edgar Allan Poe magnetic poetry, you decide what ominous verses you want to create. With over 200 themed magnetic pieces, with words such as "lonely," "forebode," "shiver," "evil," "truth," and of course, "raven," all you need is an alcohol problem and you too can become a writer ignored in your own time.
Cyberpunkers: 'Whatta Mask'– EP Review
‘System Shock 2’ Now on Steam
System Shock 2, the progenitor to Bioshock created by Irrational Games, has finally been pulled out of the mothballs for digital distribution via Steam.
While it hasn’t aged very well graphically (very few early 2000’s titles have), it’s still got the same sense of scrotum-shriveling dread as you deal with not one but two self-aware rogue AIs, as well as the parasitic hive-mind called The Many. Fans of Bioshock have no reason not to play this, as the two titles share a decent amount of DNA, even further than the “shock” in the title. The game is 30% off until May 17th, so there’s literally no reason not to give it a try if you haven’t.
NECA Unveils 'Video Game Jason' Figure for Comic-Con
Plans for 'Gremlins' Remake Moving Forward?
Be Kind, Rewind — 'Open House'
Cast your Vote in the ‘Injustice’ DLC Survey
Netherrealm Studios head Ed Boon, the maniac behind Mortal Kombat and Injustice: Gods Among Us, tweeted a survey on his official Twitter asking fans what DC characters they would want to be added as DLC to the four-color fighting game.
While unofficial (Ed’s own heartbreaking words, not mine), there are some interesting choices to cast your vote on. Obvious choices like Doctor Fate and Powergirl are joined by Zatanna and…Swamp Thing???
While this may be unofficial, you can feel free to take the survey and cast your vote. However, if you vote for anyone besides Swamp Thing, you’re all dead to me.
First Look: Fox's 'Sleepy Hollow'
At today's upfronts, Fox released the trailer for their upcoming supernatural procedural Sleepy Hollow. The show takes the legend of Sleepy Hollow, and blends it with Grimm and National Treasure for an... interesting show. It looks better than the description sounds, but I am going to have to see a few episodes before I am sold. Sleepy Hollow will air Mondays at 9pm this fall on Fox (The Following will take the time slot over when it comes in mid-season). Check out the trailer and official synopsis below.
From co-creators/executive producers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (the “Star Trek” and “Transformers” franchises, “Fringe”) comes the adventure thriller SLEEPY HOLLOW. In this modern-day retelling of Washington Irving’s classic, ICHABOD CRANE (Tom Mison, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”) is resurrected and pulled two and a half centuries through time to find that the world is on the brink of destruction and that he is humanity’s last hope, forcing him to team up with a contemporary police officer (Nicole Beharie, “Shame,” “American Violet”) to unravel a mystery that dates back to the founding fathers.
First Look at NBC's 'Dracula'
The networks are revealing their upcoming schedules this week and with it comes first looks at their new shows. One of the shows I am most looking forward to this fall is NBC's telling of Dracula. Starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the titular vampire, NBC's version looks opulent and cinematic, the kind of show that would be more at home on HBO than a broadcast network. That could be because the head of NBC, Bob Greenblatt - who ordered Dracula straight to series without the traditional "let's start with a pilot" step - came from Showtime. With Dracula and Hannibal and midseason's pirate show Crossbones, maybe he is trying to bring a pay-cable aesthetic to a broadcast network.
Anyway, check out the official trailer and synopsis below. Dracula premieres this fall on Fridays at 10pm, following Grimm (which returns to its original 9pm slot).
Golden Globe winner Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“The Tudors”) stars in this provocative new drama as one of the world’s most iconic characters. It’s the late 19th century and the mysterious Dracula (Rhys Meyers) has arrived in London, posing as an American entrepreneur who wants to bring modern science to Victorian society. He’s especially interested in the new technology of electricity, which promises to brighten the night — useful for someone who avoids the sun. But he has another reason for his travels: He hopes to take revenge on those who cursed him with immortality centuries earlier. Everything seems to be going according to plan… until he becomes infatuated with a woman who appears to be a reincarnation of his dead wife. Victoria Smurfit (“About a Boy”), Thomas Kretschmann (“King Kong”), Jessica De Gouw (“Arrow”), Oliver Jackson-Cohen (“Mr. Selfridge”), Nonso Anozie (“Game of Thrones”) and Katie McGrath (“Merlin”) also star.
Grindhouse Releasing is Back!
Arnold Schwarzenegger to Star in 'Toxic Avenger'
Variety is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in the remake of The Toxic Avenger. Take that in for a second.
The Toxic Avenger is an 80s crapfest (meant in the kindest way possible) about a janitor who becomes a superhero after falling into a vat of toxic waste. Released in 1984 from Z-movie powerhouse Troma Entertainment, The Toxic Avenger was a theatrical bomb but a VHS cult phenomenon. Toxie soon became Troma's mascot, and eventually spawned several sequels, a musical, a cartoon, and lots of merch.
It is weird enough that they are remaking The Toxic Avenger - that would be like remaking (Plan 9 From Outer Space). But apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star. Weirder still... he won't be Toxie. According to Variety, "he’s in negotiations for another lead role in the reimagining of the 1980s cult pic."
So Schwarzenegger has gone from being a horrible politician (governor of California) to a horrible box-office draw (The Last Stand flopped at the box office) to a remake of a horrible (but awesome) movie. I'm not sure which way his career is going at this point.
Army of the Universe: 'The Hipster Sacrifice'– CD Review
Clowns, Cats, and Grandma: The Five Scariest Adult Swim Bumpers
As you may have figured out by now, I am obsessed with television. I am also a night owl (“Sleep is for pussies”), so I tend to watch a lot of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. For those who go to bed at a sensible hour, Adult Swim is the block of animation (generally running from 10pm to 5am) that is decidedly not for children. It is stuff like Family Guy, Robot Chicken, and Metalocalypse, plus anime on the weekends. The animation that airs during this time is often subversive (or at the very least, crass) but more fascinating than the programming are the bumpers. Bumpers are the station ID clips that roll between shows, often just 15 seconds or so. I have to say, most of these bumpers scare the hell out of me. With some, obvious motifs are clearly meant to scare (i.e. clowns and hands reaching from computer screens). But with others, it is the sheer bizarreness that chills me. Below, I have highlighted some of my “favorites.”
Clown Kids
Clowns. Kids. Bizarrely misshapen puppets of popular Adult Swim cartoons. Eerie chime music. These always give me the chills.
Grandma and the Computer
A hand coming out from a computer is scary enough; a Blue Screen of Death is even worse. But the Blue Hand of Computer Death dating grandma? What the hell is wrong with people? This is a compilation of granny bumps. Check out the one around the 50 second mark - that one terrifies me.
Meow Meow: Dancing with Mask
This is how snuff films start out.
Corporate Kitty
Animals in human clothes always make me feel weird, but what is even scarier about this bump is creepy, fake, plastic smiles on all those people standing with that smug cat. I think the cat is their evil overlord, who tries to “look cool” but once the cameras are off, he will beat that cult of humans with a sack of oranges.
Haiku Man
There is so much going on here: a funeral dirge. Makeup that looks like a clown painted up Boy George. Weird, warping camera effects. And the dude eating a paintbrush. I think that is the part that upsets me the most.
iOS Game Review: 'Zombie Squash'
Zombie Squash represents the sort of simple perfection that marks a damn fine portable game: an easy-to-digest concept, accessible controls, and bite-sized levels that are perfect for anything from a bus ride to a bowel movement. Players are cast as Peter Stompingtail, a lethal lepus who must defend his garden from the titular zombie squash with his own violent vegetables, an arsenal ranging from carrots to zucchini launched from a crossbow and replenished by his bunny brethren.
While at initial glance Zombie Squash may seem like a lot of other titles on the App Store, even bearing more than a passing resemblance to PopCap’s Plants vs. Zombies, it has a few interesting wrinkles to separate it from the crowd. The soundtrack, composed by Roy Z, is some properly headbanging metal that definitely adds a pretty substantial level of auditory mayhem to the proceedings, and even the theme song is both goofy and oh-so-catchy. Second, creator Attila Juhasz had the stones to approach Living Dead daddy George A. Romero to lend his voice and likeness to the game’s villain, Dr. B. E. Vil.
When you first start the game, you can’t help but smile at the uncanny caricature of Romero, sporting a pair of elfin ears and vampiric fangs, as he announces his plans for world domination with his army of zombie squash. The accent that Romero inflects is the sort of Eastern European hamminess that you would find in a high school production of Dracula, but it’s incredibly endearing, and the over-the-top goofiness of it is a perfect fit for a game called Zombie Squash.
Thankfully, the game itself holds its own even without the Romero appearance, with levels increasing the ranks of squash that charge towards your end of the garden while offering more destructive ammo to dispatch them. The later stages become positively frantic, but the dead-simple controls keep it manageable, alternating between launching farmer’s-market firepower and harvesting ammo with nothing more than a quick tap. It’s challenging, but never in that “it’s the controls’ fault” sort of way. You have no one to blame for failure but yourself, which is the earmark of a well-designed game.
Zombie Squash is available now for iPhone, iPad, and Android devices. You can find more info and download links at http://www.zombiesquash.com.
Worldwide Rights Acquired for 'Hell Baby'& Darren Lynn Bousman's 'Sacrilege'
Book Review: Douglas Warrick Breaks Exciting New Ground with 'Plow the Bones'
'Hobs Pit' Dark Ride Opening in the UK This Summer
Watch the New Trailer for 'The Dead II: India'
'From Dusk Till Dawn' TV Series in the Works