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Horror Cinema's Most Gratuitous Sex Scenes

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Sex scenes are an inevitability in most horror films. Some of them are tactful, add something to the film, and tell the audience something about the characters involved. Some are racy, appear tacked on, and the audience wouldn’t know the difference if the scene were removed altogether. Regardless of how the scene plays out, it is statistically proven that audiences love sex... actually, I just made that up, but if there were a survey conducted, I fully expect that the results would be overwhelmingly in support of onscreen sex.
 
It goes beyond just seeing bare body parts, though. There's something about onscreen sex in a horror film that conjures memories of the horror and grindhouse films of yesteryear. But most importantly, we just love sex, and we love violence, and when the two are combined we can barely contain ourselves. The more gratuitous, the better. So, for your carnal enjoyment, we bring you some of the most gratuitous sex scenes ever to appear in horror cinema. 
 
They_Live
 
They Live
 
“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubblegum.” Rowdy Roddy Piper turned in an unforgettable performance in They Live. The sex scene at the end, however, served really no purpose other than to showcase a pair of perky exposed breasts. If it has any other purpose beyond that, it's beyond us, but it serves its singular purpose quite well and is a fine ending to an epic movie. 
 
Wrong_Turn_4
 
Wrong Turn 4
 
The sex scene in Wrong Turn 4 looks like someone grabbed it from a Cinemax After Dark film. Those girls are going at it like the world is about to end. I mean, they are in to it! The movie as a whole, unfortunately, falls flat. The franchise has really struggled to put out a satisfying entry since the Joe Lynch helmed Wrong Turn 2, but fortunately that didn’t stop Wrong Turn 4 director Declan O’Brien from trying to appeal to the carnal nature of his audience. 
 
Silent_Scream
 
Silent Scream
 
Though it’s light years away from a beloved cult classic 1979 slasher Silent Scream still managed to deliver the goods... if by "goods" you mean outrageous, over-the-top sexcapades. Silent Scream brought viewers a voyeuristic look at a carnal rendezvous as a sex-starved pervert of a roommate listens to a young couple’s grunting and moaning through a hole in the air conditioning vent. The creeper just smiles and eavesdrops on an overly risqué bedroom scene that seems to go on forever. Apart from that, the film’s only other saving grace is a decent cast, featuring genre icons Yvonne De Carlo and Barbara Steele, and an almost bearable performance from The Boogens’ Rebecca Balding. 
 
Howling
 
The Howling
 
One of three high-profile werewolf films to come out in 1981, The Howling brought viewers a close-up look at the mating rituals of the lycanthrope, as we see a werewolf sex scene transpire by the flames of a roaring fire. Joe Dante is now probably better known for his family-friendly horror fare, but in his early days he didn’t shy away from the  T&A... and we're glad that he didn’t, because we appreciate a bit of lycanthropic coitus with our full moon hijinks. The best part is that both of the parties involved begin to transform during the process, and in doing so make weird animalistic sex grunts that may also be partially attributed to the pair howling at the full moon.
 
NOTD
 
Night of the Demons
 
Night of the Demons was gratuitous in its display of more than just sexual intercourse; there's plenty of over the top violence and some hardcore nudity that is not linked to the film’s sex scenes. For instance, we see Linnea Quigley insert a tube of lipstick into her nipple. Yep, you read that correctly. Also, there's stripper-esque dancing and up-skirt shots, and that’s barely scratching the surface. But in addition to all of that, this Kevin Tenney film also brings its audience several rather explicit sex scenes, one of which finds a young hormonal couple getting their swerve on inside a coffin. Unfortunately for the couple, both of them are killed off before either party is finished with their sexual rendezvous. 
 
Videodrome
 
Videodrome
 
David Cronenberg's Videodrome is one of my all-time faves for a variety of reasons: the film is jam-packed with social commentary; it has a highly surreal, dreamlike quality; the FX are amazing, and so is the level of creativity with which they are executed. The sex in the film, while gratuitous, does serve to further the plot to some extent, and if it were cut from the picture, the remaining footage wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Since everything about the film is done to the extreme, it’s easy to understand Cronenberg's decision to go that route with this scene. He brings viewers a very R-rated look at Blondie singer Deborah Harry in the throes of explicit passion with James Woods. The two of them prove that, like the Divinyls song says, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. 
 
Dressed_to_Kill
 
Dressed to Kill
 
The opening scene in Dressed to Kill is absolutely pushing the boundaries of an X rating. Though it’s primarily a solo scene, it’s still the most racy and gratuitous on our list, and shows full-on unsimulated autoerotic stimulation. Ultimately, it’s not surprising to see DePalma holding the top spot; he's never been one to hold back, or assume that less is more. It’s likely that the shower scene is a subtle homage to Psycho as DePalma has always paid tribute to Hitchcock in his various works, and there are several other Psycho references in the film as well. 

Rare Peter Cushing Thriller 'Corruption' Makes its Uncut DVD/Blu-ray Debut

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Corruption_Cushing
 
We were excited to announce recently that the beloved cult film distribution company Grindhouse Releasing is making a comeback this year after a lengthy hiatus, and among their slate of new and upcoming releases is the rare and controversial 1968 thriller Corruption, starring horror icon Peter Cushing in a shocking role as a pervy, homicidal doctor. 
 
Corruption1
 
Honoring Cushing's 100th birthday this year, Grindhouse has unveiled the complete details on the Corruption Blu-ray/DVD combo, scheduled for release on October 8th. The new HD presentation was mastered from original vault elements and restores graphic scenes that were cut from the US release. Disc features include the following:
  • Interviews with stars Wendy Varnals, Billy Murray, Jan Waters and Peter Cushing
  • Audio commentary by acclaimed UK horror journalist Jonathan Rigby and Peter Cushing biographer David Miller
  • Isolated music and effects track
  • Liner notes by Allan Bryce, editor of the celebrated British horror magazine The Dark Side
  • Extensive still galleries, trailers, TV spots and radio spots
  • The original annotated director's shooting script and production notes
  • Shocking reversible cover with original art by notorious illustrator Rick Melton
  • Grindhouse Releasing prevues of coming attractions

"Peter Cushing has always been my favorite actor," says Grindhouse co-founder Bob Murawski. "Therefore I am absolutely thrilled to have the opportunity to release Corruption. It's an overlooked, under-appreciated gem in the Cushing canon, a psychotic super-shocker that fully delivers in every way."

You can preorder the Corruption combo right now at Amazon and Diabolik DVD. In the meantime, dig the trippy trailer:
 

FEARnet Movie Review: 'Evidence'

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Many years ago the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup folks had an awesome ad campaign that went like this:

 
"Hey. you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!"
 
"Hey, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!"
 
"You're both right! It's two great tastes that taste great together!"
 
The main reason I remember this ancient TV commercial is because I see a lot of horror movies. And I find myself thinking "Hey, you got your Alien in my Silent Hill!" or something similarly silly. I mention all of this nonsense because of a goofy new horror thriller called Evidence, which I'd describe thusly:
 
"Hey, you got your found footage horror film in my boring cop story!"
 
"Hey, you got your boring cop story in my..."
 
You get the point. 
 
Rare is the film that feels more like two small movies wedged together, but that's precisely what Evidence is. Wholly familiar, entirely predictable, yet still oddly watchable, Evidence is about two detectives who spend an evening scanning through a videotape that was found at the location of a horrific mass murder.
 
Story A: the detectives (Stephen Moyer and Radha Mitchell, both likable but not exactly working hard) scan through the videotapes and rattle off all the in-between exposition we need. It's very basic and rote material, but the actors are solid enough, which helps a lot.
 
Story B: a "found footage" presentation of (get this) several happy young people on their way to an event before their car breaks down and they start getting picked off in a deserted little town. If you've seen maybe six slasher movies and four found-footage flicks, you've seen everything that Evidence's B-story has to offer. And yet it still has a touch of creepy cleverness here and there.
 
By now you've realized that Evidence doesn't have an original ion to speak of, but that's not to say you won't find some amusement here. All the stuff you need from both sub-genres (the cop story and the horror flick) are dutifully addressed, and to be fair the third act of Evidence is entertainingly awash in misdirection, red herrings, and weird twists -- but there's just nothing here that'll stick in your memory banks for more than a day or two. 
 
For all its familiarity, Evidence is a solid advancement for director Olatunde Osunsanmi (after The Cavern and The Fourth Kind) and first-time screenwriter John Swetnam deserves some credit for at least combining horror flicks and police procedurals into a diverting little cable flick. Ultimately, Evidence is a passable afternoon time-waster but not much more. Horror fans who also love network detective shows will probably dig it well enough.

Step In to Neil Gaiman's First Video Game, 'Wayward Manor'

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wayward manorYou've loved Neil Gaiman's books and comics and movies. I am guessing that you will love his first foray into video games, Wayward Manor.

Set in the 1920s, you play as a ghost whose peaceful afterlife is disrupted when the living move into your Victorian Gothic estate. Clearly, you have no other choice but to scare them away, using their fears and anxieties and your wits and creativity to get them to leave your house. The puzzle/adventure hybrid is expected to be released for PC, Mac, and tablets in fall 2013.

Can't wait? Well, there's not much you can do about that... except pre-order your game. There are many different "levels" of pre-order. $10 will get you a download of the game, an original song from the soundtrack, and a "thank you" on the website. For $10,000, you can have dinner with Gaiman himself at The Magic Castle in Los Angeles. There are lots of different pre-orders in between, with benefits like a digital art book, t-shirts, signed posters and lithographs, and an invite to the launch party. It's kind of like crowdfunding, except this project is 100% guaranteed to be delivered.

For more info, or to pre-order, visit WhoHauntsNeil.com

Exclusive: Meet 'Frankenstein's Army' - Wall Zombots

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I'm psyched for Frankenstein's Army. Richard Raaphorst's new film, set in the final days of WWII, supposes that the Nazis were building supersoldiers based off the research of Victor Frankenstein. To celebrate the film, which comes out in theaters and VOD today - we are happy to give you an exclusive look at one of the monsters of Frankenstein's Army, the Wall Zombots. Check out how it went from sketch to realization.

frankenstein's army

 

The Wall Zombots were two of the doctor’s earliest creations. Before finalizing his grisly concepts for the Führer, Frankenstein was focused on the seemingly simple idea of bringing the dead back to life under some basic form of control. The results were this duo of angry ghouls, with their violent aggression - even toward their creator - quite unstoppable.

Official synopsis: "In the waning days of World War II, a battalion of Russian soldiers find themselves lost in enemy territory. Stumbling upon a village decimated by an unseen terror, they discover that a mad scientist (Hellboy’s Karel Roden) conducts experiments to fuse flesh and steel, creating an unstoppable army of undead soldiers. Leaderless and faced with dissention amongst their dwindling ranks, they must find the courage to face down an altogether new menace – or die trying."

ATTN LA: 'Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood' at the New Bev 7/27!

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I'd say one of the biggest hits of this year's Comic-Con had to be the Neca exclusive Jason Voorhees 8-bit action figure. And for those that remember the game from when it actually game out, the latest movie in the series that was out in theaters at the time was 'Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood,' hence the image of Kane Hodder as Jason on the front of the box. All I can say is I have tremendously fond memories of seeing 'Friday 7' in theaters. I went with a large group of fellow 12 year old's and convinced our guidance counselor to get us in. I was too young to be aware of the MPAA problems. All I knew was it had a bitchin' opening and a great fight between the unstoppable Jason and Tina (a Carrie-esque telekenetic). 

Why do I even mention all this? Because this Saturday night, July 27th, our friends Brian Collins (Bad Ass Digest, Horror Movie A Day) and the New Beverly Cinema are hosting a special midnight screening of this awesome sequel, and I will do everything in my power to recapture the magic of my first theatrical 'Friday The 13th' experience by attending and cheering along. This is a 35mm print screening and editor Barry Zetlin will be on hand for a quick introduction and Q & A with Collins prior to the films' start. The New Beverly is located at 7165 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles CA 90036. Tickets will be available at the door but if you'd like to buy tickets in advance, you can hit up the Brown Paper Tickets website. In the meantime, enjoy the trailer and teaser poster for this event below!

Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood New Beverly Cinema Midnight screening poster

 

Breakfast at 'The World's End' With Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright

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the world's endAmid the insanity of Comic Con last week, there was a quiet respite, an oasis, at The World’s End.

Saturday morning at the otherwise crazy convention got off to a rather peaceful start with a quiet breakfast with a handful of journalists, and Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright from The World’s End. The newest film from the madmen behind Shaun of the Dead sees Simon Pegg returning home after twenty years to finish a legendary pub crawl. He drags his boyhood friends along for the ride, but it soon becomes evident that something sinister is going on in the quiet town. The men took turns coming to our tables, and in between jokes and jovial chit-chat, we actually spoke about the movie.

First up was writer/director Edgar Wright, who explained that the trio never wanted to make a sequel to Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz, and that is why The World’s End is the third in a very loose trilogy. “It started as a joke, but we realized there are elements of each in The World’s End.” He sees each film as a different stage of adulthood. The idea for The World’s End came six years ago, while the guys were doing the US press tour for Hot Fuzz. “We almost did time travel in the third act,” Wright admits, “but we decided it would make it too much a different movie.” While there are no plans to make another trilogy, Wright assures us that this is not the end of their collaboration. 

the world's end

Next came writer and star Simon Pegg, who plays Gary King, the forty-something who drags his friends along on his quest to finish the twelve-stop pub crawl. “Selfishly, I wanted to be the overtly funny guy,” Pegg admits of his immature character who still revels in his high school glory. He went to high school with guys like Gary King and thought it would be “fun to be a dick.” “We wanted characters that you can sketch quickly,” he said, explaining that Edgar used to draw all the storyboards for their films and they would try to create characters that you could immediately identify with only a quick sketch. On appealing to a broader audience, Pegg explains that he would rather make a small group very happy than a large group mildly entertained. “I don’t like pandering to dumbness. We owe it to ourselves to challenge ourselves.”

Finally we spoke to co-star Nick Frost, who plays straight-man Andrew Knightley, a content family man who ditches his sobriety somewhere around the fifth pub. He found a lot of similarities between his character and his real life. At age 18, Frost moved to Israel, swore off alcohol, and fell madly in love with a girl. Several years later, the girl left him and ran off with a heavy drinker, and Frost said, “Fuck this.” Ironically, he broke his sobriety at a pub called The World’s End, but he swears that the movie is not based on his experiences. Frost keeps in touch with friends that remind him of Gary King, but finds it difficult. “I never yearn for my high school years. I am happiest where I am today.” On the other hand, his friendship with Pegg is almost co-dependent. “We text each other 20 times a day and will say nothing at all!” Frost admits. Their wives are mystified. 

The World’s End opens in theaters on August 23rd.

Nine Awesome Pieces Of Unlicensed Freddy Krueger 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' Merchandise

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We fans will forever debate the subject of who the 'best' of the big time horror villains is, but there's one thing that none of us can deny; when it comes to merchandising: A Nightmare on Elm Street's Freddy Krueger is king. Though Freddy is perhaps the horror villain that should by all means be least marketable to children, being a burnt-up child killer and all, the dream demon has nevertheless proven himself to be as marketable as Justin Bieber, with endless toys and products made in his likeness from the time he first came onto the scene straight through to today. From comic books to a pinball machine, a yo-yo to his own set of Nikes, Freddy is the undispusted master of merchandising, and there are very few products his face hasn't appeared on over the years. Hell, he even had his own line of candy containers, at one point!
 
Given his popularity from a marketing standpoint, it was only natural that Freddy would spawn not only officially licensed merchandise, but also unofficial bootlegs... and boy, did he ever. Though illegal to profit off the likeness of a character like Freddy without official approval, those legal issues can be avoided by slightly changing the look of the character, or simply omitting his name in the marketing. With so many iconic pieces to the Freddy character, like the burn scars, the hat, the glove and the Christmas sweater, Freddy opened himself up to all sorts of unlicensed merchandise, and you better believe that many opportunists have taken full advantage!
 
Bootleg1
 
Fresh off of a line of bootlegs clearly inspired by the ever popular Masters of the Universe toys, a company by the name of Sungold next set their sights on monster toys, with a line that was quite cleverly called... "Monster." Included in the line were typical monsters like Frankenstein and Dracula, alongside a guy who looked a whole lot like Freddy Krueger. Only instead of wearing a red and green striped sweater, this guy decided to raid Waldo's wardrobe, blue jeans and all. He also appears to have swapped out his razor fingers for grey colored crinkle-cut fries... a much more delicious option.
 
Though none of the figures in the Sungold Monster line were actually given names, the same figures were later re-released by a company called Simba under the title "Monster Vampires," and in that line this bootleg Freddy was finally awarded a proper God-given name: "Sharp Hand Joe." In the immortal words of ZZ Top: "Every girl's crazy 'bout Sharp Hand Joe." At least I think they said that.
 
Bootleg2
 
Perhaps the most iconic of all the Freddy bootleg toys is "Nightmare Feddy," an example of a company altering Freddy's name rather than his look. I don't know the name of the company, but this was apparently released back in the '80s, and Feddy can often be found selling for a decent hunk of change over on eBay. There's just something so fun about saying the name Feddy, isn't there?  I think I'll name my first-born that... whether it's a boy or a girl.
 
Bootleg3
 
Freddy lost his glove, cut off his sleeves, hardened his nipples and became a professional wrestler with this figure, released by European company Mannix. Coming on the scene in the late '80s, Mannix originally specialized in knockoff toys of popular pro wrestlers, and then eventually came out with a line called "Monster Maniacs," fusing together parts from their wrestling toys and turning them into monsters. Jacked-up versions of both Jason and Freddy appeared in the line, Jason going under the moniker "The Crystal Lake Killer" and Freddy billed as "Nightmare Freddy" (ah, the "r" returns). So if you ever wondered what Freddy would look like if he started hitting the weights and became a WWE superstar, Mannix has got ya covered!
 
Bootleg4
 
Freddy once again joined a gaggle of typical movie monsters in a line of PVC figures that Yolanda put out in Spain in 1992. 24 different monsters comprised the "Super Monstrous" line, Fred being the definite standout amongst the generic skeletons and zombies. I was lucky enough to recently score one of these off eBay for super cheap, and I find everything about the little knockoff Freddy to be totally charming; the dual gloves, rolled up sleeve, v-neck sweater and red eyes coming together to turn a frightening horror icon into an utterly loveable little creature of the night. The figure is of course unmistakably Freddy, but this bootleg offers enough changes to the look of the character to make it stand out as one of the cooler bootleg treatments he's been given. Certainly the cutest!
 
Bootleg5
 
If there's one item on this list that I know the least about, it's this one. Actually, truth be told, I know absolutely nothing about this very odd doll. The picture you see above is the only picture I've ever managed to track down of it, though I must admit I am completely enchanted by the badass skull t-shirt, the hippie sweater and the suction cup hands. If I had to guess, I'd have to say it's some kind of old carnival toy, the prize for managing to pop one of those balloons that somehow cannot even be penetrated by the tip of a dart, thrown full-force and right on target. If anyone can provide us with any information about this thing, it'd be greatly appreciated!
 
Bootleg6
 
In a perfect world, kids would have the option of collecting candy on Halloween night inside the head of a frightening killer of children... which I guess makes Mexico that perfect world I'm referring to. A recent eBay find, this trick or treat pail hails from the birthplace of the burrito, and I can only imagine the joy it helped bring to many a kid on El Dia De Los Muertos. I'm not sure how many other horror icons were given the trick or treat-ment by the company responsible for this, but the same seller was also selling a knockoff Chucky pail, which featured the same set of neon green eyes. Here in America, Freddy appeared on a few different candy bowls, but has yet to be given his very own trick or treat pail. Someday, Freddy. Someday.
 
Bootleg7
 
Halloween + Freddy Krueger = $$$, which is why countless different companies over the years have used his likeness to make a quick buck in October, utilizing the legal loophole of simply pretending their masks are not depicting Freddy Krueger, even when they obviously are.  This is just one of many such masks I've come across in my travels, and it can often be found selling under the hilarious moniker "Burnt Face Man." Burnt Face Man vs. Hockey Mask Killer.... now there's a horror film I'd like to see! Of course, you can't be Freddy, or Burnt Face Man,  without the proper clothes...
 
Bootleg8
 
Freddy certainly doesn't hold the copyright to a striped Christmas sweater, so there's no harm in making and selling one, as long as you play it cool... and the company that put this particular one out played it real damn cool, opting for the uber-generic title of "Night Killer Costume," rather than going for something a bit more on the nose. Guess they really didn't want to take any chances by throwing key words like "burnt," "nightmare" or "dream" in there. (Kudos on the incredible show of restraint, fellas.) What really sells this one is the model, who appears to think he's Freddy Krueger, and not the Christmas sweater-wearing Night Killer that he truly is. No matter how hard he wants you to think otherwise, there is no razor glove on his hand. Nice try though, guy. Speaking of which, you can't be Freddy, Burnt Face Man or a Night Killer without the final key piece to the Freddy puzzle...
Night Killer Costume photo courtesy of
I-Mockery.
 
 
Bootleg9
 
The Fright Glove!! Outside of the package, this might as well be the officially licensed Freddy glove that you can find in any one of your local Halloween shops in October, because I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is. But inside, the Fright Glove is one of the coolest pieces of bootleg Freddy merch ever made, for two reasons: 1) It finally gives a name to Freddy's favorite weapon, which went without one for far too long; and 2) the insanely badass imagery of the Devil himself wearing Freddy's glove... what more needs to be said? At last, your Halloween costume is complete. Just try not to tell people that you're Freddy Krueger, because you wouldn't want to get anyone in trouble!
 
What's your favorite piece of bootleg Freddy merch? Do you know of any others that you don't see listed on here? Leave a comment and let us know!

Fright-Rags Reveal 'Re-Animator' Limited Edition Shirts and Poster

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Following up on their awesome Return of the Living Dead“Tarman” designs last month, popular horror-themed graphics company Fright-Rags has teamed up with Re-Animator producer Brian Yuzna for the only officially licensed apparel designs for the Lovecraftian splatter classic.
 
Reanimator1
 
Fright-Rags is not only launching a series of new t-shirt designs, but a limited edition 18x24” Re-Animator poster featuring artwork by James Rheem Davis and signed by co-star Barbara Crampton.
 
Reanimator2Reanimator4
 
The shirts feature Davis's design, as well as a reproduction of Waxwork Records' Re-Animator soundtrack vinyl cover art by Ghoulish Gary Pullin and a “Dr. Hill Head” design by Felix LaFlamme.
 
Preorders for all four items are only available during a four-day window, opening at 10am Eastern on Thursday, August 8th and closing at 10am Monday, August 12th. Visit Fright-Rags.com for ordering details!

The Atlantic Wolffish Will Tear Your Soul Apart

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If we haven't scared you away from the beaches this summer with all the deep-sea terrors we've shown you lately, you're braver than we thought. But we're not done with you yet. How about a close-up look at the massive, flesh-tearing teeth of the Atlantic wolffish?
 
Wolffish2
 
Also known as the “Devil Fish” (for obvious reasons), this hideous demon of the deep can grow up to five feet long and sports so many teeth he can't even close his mouth. Teeth for tearing, ripping, grinding... this dude has 'em all. Hell, he even has teeth in his throat! That said, you'll be relieved to discover that the wolffish doesn't usually exhibit shark-type behavior; he uses those massive choppers to break open the hard shells of crabs and clams. 
 
Wolffish3
 
Thankfully, there are no reports of them seeking out and biting humans, although they have injured fishers who tried to catch them. They stick to much colder depths than are usually tolerable for human swimmers, and can actually live in near-freezing water thanks to an antifreeze-like substance in their bloodstream.
 
Wolffish4
Ironically, it's the wolffish that's in more danger from being eaten by us, as the species is now at risk from over-fishing (they're considered a delicacy all over the world). Conservationists are pushing for regulations to keep the population sustainable.

Book Review: 'Impossible Monsters' Edited by Kasey Lansdale

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It’s easy to forget sometimes that horror fiction can be fun. It’s understandable, of course; after all, horror is the genre charged with examining the dark corners. It’s the vehicle by which we take a look at how bad things can get, and how we as human beings react. Do we fight back? Are we victimized? Scarred for life? Doesn’t sound like fun, does it?
 
Horror movies often mine the lighter side of the dark side. Maybe one of the soon-to-be-victims of a serial killer is a real cut-up (so to speak). Maybe the scares come with a wink-and-a-nudge, like in Tremors or Evil Dead II. Maybe it’s a comedy with horrific elements, like Ghostbusters. Maybe it’s something that’s just so damn cool you can’t help but grin through the goosebumps. There are tons of examples of this to choose from in horror cinema, but fun horror fiction, whether it’s a scary story played for laughs or just a balls-to-the-wall piece of writing that’s infused with the fun the author had constructing it, is a little harder to come by. Thanks, then, are due to Kasey Lansdale and Subterranean Press for bringing us a collection of horror fiction that’s fun to read. They call it Impossible Monsters.
 
Impossible_Monsters
 
Let me be clear: this is not the wink-and-a-nudge kind of fun, it’s not slapstick comedy, and it’s not fiction making fun of horror. This is the kind of pure joy that comes with collecting a group of master craftsmen and craftswomen, stripping away all the rules and conventions, and watching them create things that are new and fresh. The authors of these stories – and there are big names here, people like Neil Gaiman and Chet Williamson and David J. Schow and Kasey Lansdale’s father, Joe R. Lansdale – are either coming up with new riffs on tried-and-true horror formulas or chucking them altogether and presenting stuff that’s completely unheard of. 
 
Gaiman, for example, presents what feels like a classic bedtime spook story (he calls it “Click-Clack the Rattlebag,” which just sounds spooky as hell, doesn’t it?), but twists it in on itself so that you’re second-, third- and fourth-guessing yourself by the end of its scant length. Sookie Stackhouse creator Charlaine Harris lays the vampires aside for a tense, engrossing werewolf tale with a cool twist of its own. And Al Sarrantonio joins in on the fun with a horror story that starts out with a group of young couples staying at a remote cabin on a remote lake before veering off into uncharted waters.
 
Impossible Monsters does stray into bleaker territory a time or two, as if to remind you that Lansdale and company aren’t playing around. Williamson’s “Detritus” is particularly disturbing, as a young poet retreats to a hotel room to try and reignite his muse. Instead, he begins a rapid descent into a grotesque form of madness that finds him meditating on scabs, skin flakes, bodily fluids and boogers, an obsession that manifests itself in a truly disgusting manner. You’ll never sleep soundly in a hotel room again. It should also be mentioned that “Detritus” has an ending that’s unrelentingly grim, capped off with a last line that made me laugh out loud.
 
I should also mention that Impossible Monsters is refreshingly lean. Clocking in at 200 pages, it leaves you completely satisfied while simultaneously wishing Impossible Monsters II would appear, like, right now.
 
Lansdale’s done a great job. The authors have delivered some great stories. All you’ve got to do is pick it up and hang on tight. Highly recommended.
 
 
Blu Gilliand is a freelance writer of fiction and nonfiction. He covers horror fiction at his blog, October Country, and contributes interviews to the Horror World website. Follow him on Twitter at @BluGilliand. 

Bagged and Boarded Comic Reviews: Ghostbusters, Hack/Slash vs. Army of Darkness, and More!

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New comic book Wednesday has come and gone. The dust at your local comic shop has settled. An eerie silence descends as you finish reading your last superhero book of the week. Now it's time for something a little more sinister. Welcome to Bagged and Boarded: comic reviews of the sick, spooky, twisted and terrifying!
 
LobsterLobster Johnson: A Scent of Lotus pt. 1
 
Lobster Johnson is the closest thing the Hellboy universe gets to a Batman. He’s clad in leather, capped with an awesome pilot’s cap and goggles, stalks around in the night, and shoots the shit out of bad guys. He’s a tough, rough and tumble hero and in this mini-series he’s on a quest to figure out who’s killing all the couriers of a gang in Chinatown.
 
Bag it or board it up? You could read this comic just for the atmosphere and moodiness. It’s amazing, full of taut action and dark hues, and it always delivers on the premise it proposes. Chinatown is a great setting for a Lobster Johnson comic, and even though we don’t see much of the eponymous hero in this issue it’s still an awesome read.
 
Doomsday1Doomsday.1 No. 3
 
After a solar flare-up sent a wave of fire across the Earth a few survivors must survey the land. Some were safe in a space station orbiting Earth, while others survived by staying in a submarine. But these are all professional, military-type people with real backgrounds and lives. As they head into New York City, the hope is that they’ll find more than a mass extinction.
 
Bag it or board it up? When John Byrne is behind the wheel of a comic you can expect a certain type of story and his very recognizable art style. I happen to like the way he tells his stories and draws his comics. Realism all the way! Every story, no matter how outlandish the premise, is filled with realistic characters acting in realistic ways. The more I read of Byrne's work, the more I see its influence in comics like The Walking Dead.
 
GhostbustersGhostbusters No. 6
 
A few months back Janine (the Ghostbusters’ one-time-secretary) was challenged by her Nordic ancestors to face the spirit of Grendel. She broke a sacred oath by getting help from others to combat the monster, and now she’s been kidnapped by the ancient spirits that challenged her. Simple enough, right? So now Egon and Janine’s boyfriend Roger are trying to find her... but they have to go inside her mind to free her!
 
Bag it or board it up? I like to check back in with the Ghostbusters comics every now and then. I know they’ll never be ground breaking or life changing, but I think they’re fun and funny little supernatural stories. If you’ve got little ghouls running around and want to get them into comics, you should start with Emily and the Strangers and Ghostbusters. Alternatively, if you suffer from extreme nostalgia, you may also want to check out this comic.
 
Army_HackArmy of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash No. 1
 
Army of Darkness hero Ash is hot on the trail of someone who’s selling off pages of the Necronomicon (you know, the evil book that’s been his main antagonist for the past thirty years. His trail leads him to the home of Cassie Hack, the “serial killer killer” who recently retired from a life of adventure, danger, and murderers. After a brutal confrontation between the two, they team up in what is sure to be a wild, snarky ride.
 
Bag it or board it up? There’s no problem a baseball bat, shotgun, or chainsaw arm can’t fix, right? This is the team up everyone’s been waiting for and it’s already meeting expectations. It’s also a great entry point for either franchise. Don’t know much about Hack/Slash? No problem. Don’t know who the hell this Ash guy is? It’s okay, jump in!

Giallo Fever: 'The Sister of Ursula'

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There are a number of reasons why the gialli started to dwindle during the late 1970s. Television and the home video craze largely contributed to the marginalization of Italy's film market, isolating art house and genre films to brief theatrical runs (if that), and then a jump to the boob tube. As Italy's once vibrant film scene faded into the 1980s, filmmakers were left to compete for attention — especially once the era of American slashers started to take root with John Carpenter's Halloween. Graphic sex and violence was relatively cheap and easy to produce, but the gialli had to up the ante.
 
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Enzo Milioni's 1978 film The Sister of Ursula goes for broke — and it's amusing in its absurdity, albeit lacking in most areas. There's full-frontal nudity within the first three minutes of the movie. The sex is plentiful and ultra sleazy — similar to the notorious Giallo a Venezia. (An interview on the recent Severin Films Blu-ray reveals more about the unauthorized XXX-rated version of Ursula.)
 
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The Austrian Beyne sisters, Ursula (Suspiria's Barbara Magnolfi) and Dagmar (Zombie's Stefania D'Amario), search for their estranged mother and wind up at a seaside hotel. The girls are haunted by a troubled family life and tragic accident, but Ursula is particularly fragile. She delivers nihilistic monologues, talks to ghosts, senses danger — even predicting her own death — and remains distant and lost in her own world. The elegant, rustic location is ripe with suspects for a series of pervy murders that take place in the area. The kinky killer likes to watch sexually adventurous women in bed. His weapon of choice is hilariously perverse.
 
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The hotel's sleazy manager (Vanni Materassi) is screwing everyone and everything — except his wife, much to his chagrin, who is a swinging lesbian. The resident lounge singer (Yvonne Harlow) croons the same sultry tune every evening to her fans (Mimì Uva's "Eyes"), but lives a scandalous private life as a drug mule for the local heroin addict, Filippo, played by giallo regular Marc Porel. Sadly, the actor was struggling with a real-life addiction at the time. Big sis Dagmar spends most of her time lusting after Filippo and worrying about Ursula. The true identity of the killer is poorly disguised, but the payoff is bizarre and worth the wait.
 
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The film makes fantastic use of the gorgeous Amalfi Coast setting, treating us to some unusual murder set-pieces, including mysterious catacombs. Milioni borrows supernatural tropes from various gialli, themes later perfected in Argento's 1985 film Phenomena. One is left wondering if a poster of Donald Duck that appears above one of the victim's beds is a nod to Fulci's Don't Torture a Duckling. It's that kind of odd touch that gives The Sister of Ursula a slight edge. Milioni had visions of profiting off Ursula to make a "legit" film pegged to English actor Dirk Bogarde. That project never panned out, but Ursula is an outrageous debut with a substantial side of sleaze.

A Familiar Face Returns for 'American Horror Story: Coven'

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denis o'hareThis morning, American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy announced another familiar face who will be joining the new season, subtitled Coven: Denis O'Hare.

AHS fans will remember him as the horribly disfigured, mysteriously prescient Larry from the first season of the FX show. As is usualy with Murphy, he is not saying anything about O'Hare's role, offering nothing more than confirmation via his Twitter feed. O'Hare joins other AHS alums Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Taissa Farmiga, Lily Rabe, and Frances Conroy, as well as high-profile newcomers including Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Emma Roberts, Patti LuPone, and Gabourey Sidibe.

What little Murphy has revealed of American Horror Story: Coven - that it will be set in New Orleans and that Bates will play a "bad, bad woman" based on a real-life figure - has led me and other fans of the show to believe that Coven may be based on the tale of Madame LaLaurie.

NBC Orders 'Rosemary's Baby' and 'Tommyknockers' Miniseries

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At today's Television Critics Association conference, NBC head Bob Greenblatt announced a couple of upcoming projects that may have FEARnet readers salivating. 

An updated remake of Rosemary's Baby, based on the Ira Levin novel and originally filmed in 1968 by Roman Polanski, is on track for a four hour miniseries (likely split over two nights, the way they used to air miniseries in the 1980s and early 1990s). The story about a young wife who is convinced that she is carrying the devil's baby, will be set in Paris. Scott Abbott (Queen of the Damned) is working on the script.

Also on the schedule is a new version of The Tommyknockers, based on the novel by Stephen King. Greenblatt was inspired in part by the success of another King property, Under the Dome, which is doing gangbusters on CBS. It is the highest-rated scripted program of the summer season. The Tommyknockers was first brought to life at ABC in 1993 as a four hour miniseries. The story tells of a possible alien threat in a small Maine town. Yves Simoneau (V, The 4400, and the upcoming Horizon) is attached to direct.


'Supernatural' Spin-Off in the Works

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supernaturalThe CW has announced that it is working on a spin-off of Supernatural. The long-running series - entering its ninth season on October 8th - will have a "planted" or "backdoor" pilot during the upcoming season. This is similar to what The Vampire Diaries did last season with The Originals: one episode will introduce new characters that could potentially see a new series for the 2014-2015 season. The episode, to be written by Supernatural supervising producer Andrew Dabb, will "explore the clashing hunter and monster cultures of Chicago."

Could this signal the end of Supernatural? The series is not only the CW's longest-running show, but one of the longest-running scripted shows currently on television. But I think there is Supernatural fatigue. The storylines are starting to feel repetitive and uninspired, and I have to imagine series stars Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are getting bored. A spin-off would be a good way to bring Supernatural to a close while keeping the staff employed and the fans satiated.

Source: Deadline

Wolfmen of Mars: 'Universal Madness'– Album Review

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While I'd never heard of Massachusetts-based electro rock outfit Wolfmen of Mars until recently, I'll admit they'd already seized my interest at their self-description. They list their primary influences as electronic film scores from the '70s and '80s, and the scores of John Carpenter in particular, but unlike similar bands like Zombi and Giallos Flame (long-time faves of mine), who tend to lovingly recreate the sounds of specific eras and genres, this band uses that inspiration as a springboard for a more unique form of gritty, heavy-beat rock.
 
The Wolfmen are a fairly recent arrival, having emerged last summer with their first full-length album debut Murder at the Lunar Motel, but they definitely made up for lost time by dropping their follow-up album We're Gonna Die Either Way just six months later. That record was a step forward in developing a warmly nostalgic but also undeniably dark and heavy sound – and was followed by yet another release, the four-track digital EP titled Spaced Summer, which molded the retro-synth groove into a Halloween party-rock theme with cuts like “Dreading Sundown,” “Beach House Invasion” and “Sand in Your Bikini,” and included a “Summer Slasher” remix of the album track "Martians/In a Trunk."
 
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The Wolfmen return this summer with their third full-length release Universal Madness, which already scored major points with me for the amazing cover by artist/designer Patrick Carson Sparrow before I'd even pressed play. That artwork hints at the darkly festive mood that carried much of Spaced Summer, and that feeling definitely comes across in this album's opening cuts "Watching the Body Turn Blue" and "What It Is & Where You Can Find It," where warm synth purrs and hums form the basis for simple, lively major-key guitar/keyboard riffs, boosted by live drums and assorted percussion across a wide range of styles, from metal to European-style progressive rock and pop. 
 
Most of the songs on Universal Madness follow a similar structure, establishing a catchy hook with the synth melody and then picking up and running with it. Live drums and other percussion play a key role in shaping the sound and grounding it in a rock structure (much like Zombi's early recordings) with the electronics handling melodic duties... except when it's time to get spooky, on atmospheric tracks like "The Ungodly Hour" and “Signal from Beyond,” which blend samples from horror/sci-fi movies and haunted house records with some eerie synth and guitar noodling. Pure metal riffage comes out to play on tracks like "Vs.," where it blends with ghostly theremin wails, and there's a sweet fusion of '70s-era Goblin with a touch of glam-rock in the simple but hooky groove of "Make Your Own Monster.”
 
The distinctly Carpenter-flavored tones (think Assault on Precinct 13 or Escape from New York) come through on "Audio Lobotio," though it regrettably fades out just as the rhythm really gets going. A cool sawtooth synth riff drives the dark and brooding "Ellington's Trip," which is strongly reminiscent of lo-fi UK synth rockers Add N to (X), and there's a floaty, trance-like feel to the synth layers of "La Stomaché" that creates a tense and effective counter-balance to the frantic live breakbeat drumming, which again maintains more of a refreshing and spontaneous energy than a (typically) looped rhythm would. The album closes with the creepy "October '82," which simulates a vintage '70s dark rock groove before busting into an intense up-tempo keyboard sequence, filters warping the riffs into strange but inviting shapes.
 
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Through clean, no-frills production and a devotion to solid hooks and organic beats, Werewolves of Mars manage to drive home their melodies just as effectively as bigger-name acts who draw inspiration from the same wellspring, and while their genre influences are easy to identify, it's clear they're not simply banking on nostalgia for '70s and '80s synth scores. It didn't take the band long to find their groove, and with Universal Madness, they're now comfortable mixing and matching styles to fit an established synth-rock framework that puts the emphasis on melody... and it's pretty damn danceable too.
 
Universal Madness is available Thursday, August 1st via iTunes and Amazon, as well as the band's official Bandcamp page, where you can also listen to tracks from the previous albums & EPs. Here's one of their new cuts, “Ellington's Trip,” with suitably psychedelic visual accompaniment:
 

The Summer Shivers Continue With More Horror Ice Cream!

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BJ1
 
Feel that eerie mid-summer chill coming on? That's just the folks at Freddy in Space rolling out more excellent horror-themed ice cream varieties for your pleasure. The fourth installment in their series of Ben & Jerry's-style faux flavors is here (check out the last six entries if you missed 'em), and there's some pretty hilarious offerings in this shipment.
 
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Once again superbly rendered by artist/designer Frank Browning, the latest B&J batch incorporates scenes from the films as backgrounds, enhancing entries like Halloween“Pumpkin Slice” and and the deliciously repulsive “Human Centi-Peach.”
 
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But my personal fave this time is the Return of the Living Dead-themed “S'More Brains,” not only for its clever title but for the tub design itself, modeled to look like the Tarman's toxic gas drum.
 
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Check out the entire gallery of large images at Freddy in Space, and read about how their "Camp Crystal Cake" mockup flavor will be featured in the Friday the 13th documentary Crystal Lake Memories!

Eli Roth's 'Green Inferno' Premiering at Toronto International Film Festival

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The Toronto International Film Festival's “Midnight Madness” slate celebrates its 25th Anniversary this year, and among the titles premiering is Eli Roth's highly-anticipated jungle horror epic The Green Inferno, as well as the World Premiere of Lucky McKee & Chris Sivertson's All Cheerleaders Die.
 
Toronto's Ryerson Theatre will host another round of genre entries during TIFF's run from September 5th through 15th, and they've announced the full lineup of Midnight Madness screenings, almost all of which are world premieres.
 
Cheerleaders
 
The horror comedy All Cheerleaders Die, from the directing team of Lucky McKee (May, The Woman) and Chris Sivertson (I Know Who Killed Me), will kick off the Midnight Madness schedule. The Green Inferno, Roth's homage to controversial Italian shockers like Ruggero Deodato's 1980 Cannibal Holocaust, centers on a group of college students on a humanitarian mission to save a tribe in the Amazon jungle, only to discover that that tribe still practices cannibalism – and the kids are on the menu.
 
Also in the lineup is the body-horror film Afflicted, backwoods alien-abduction shocker Almost Human, the occult thriller Oculus, Hitoshi Matsumoto's (Big Man Japan) darkly kinky comedy R100, the Chinese vampire tribute Rigor Mortis,Rammbock director Marvin Kren's nature-gone-bad thriller The Station, and the bloody black comedy Why Don’t You Play in Hell? from Suicide Club's Sion Sono.
 

FEARnet Movie Review: 'The Complex'

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the complexOne does not criticize the Japanese filmmaker Hideo Nakata lightly. One of the godfathers of the J-horror craze (and one of the guys behind some of the best of those films), Mr. Nakata has certainly earned all the praise for Ring, Dark Water, and dozens of creepy short films. And it's not like his new feature, The Complex, is a poorly-made or uninteresting chiller... it just feels like a whole lot of "been there, done that, kinda playing it safe because that's smart business."

 
The Complex is about a family that moves into a creepy apartment building on the wrong side of the tracks, only to discover that their daughter is hearing noises. Mom and dad laugh it off. But when an old neighbor is discovered dead and Asuka's "welcome note" is found at his apartment, well... creepy stuff does happen eventually. That's how most J-horror films work: long set-up, some solid jolts, and something at the end just in case a sequel is required. 
 
There's always something to say for plain old Japanese craftsmanship. Even when The Complex is at its most uneventful, it's still a simply beautiful film to look at, and (to be completely fair) just when you think you know exactly where the film is headed, it makes a weird left turn and treads some new ground. Nothing groundbreaking, but at least The Complex avoids becoming another "body count" horror movie or an endless series of hallway wanderings. The young Atsuko Maeda is quite excellent, which helps the film immeasurably at both the dry and the creepy moments.
 
Not surprisingly, The Complex is at its best during moments of tension and suspense, but it feels slight and ineffectual when it comes to plot and characterization. At times The Complex feels almost episodic, as if it was once an anthology piece that got reconfigured into a straight narrative. Individual scenes and specific moments shine (and scare), but not much adds up to a satisfying "whole."
 
Call it a decent but strangely forgettable new paranormal thriller from a guy who could make this sort of movie in his sleep. There's too much skill and talent on display in The Complex to dismiss it outright, but let's just say it's the sort of flick the J-horror veterans might enjoy -- even if it won't enlist many new converts. I also expect an even more forgettable American remake to arrive within 18 months.
 

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