Cook Something Gore-filled for Your Bloody Valentine

No matter how fast you run from it, VD always finds you. Though the thought of planning a Valentine’s Day meal makes many of us want to stab our eyes out, there’s a very simple way to impress your horror-loving sweetie: make My Bloody Valentine-inspired Dismembered Artichoke Hearts.

This recipe is courtesy of Bake and Destroy. The story goes that the keeper of the blog, Natalie Slater, and her hubby wanted to make a Valentine’s meal that was easy, horrific, and didn’t “leave you too full for the two best things about Valentine’s Day – dessert and making out.” You may recognize Slater from Food Network, The Cooking Channel, Time Out Chicago, Bust Magazine, and her cookbook.

“Using a few short cuts, this recipe only takes a few minutes to throw together – and all the chopping and red stuff is reminiscent of our favorite February 14th horror flick- My Bloody Valentine. (Re-made in 3-D no less!) So put on your favorite high-waisted jeans and a Canadian accent and settle in for a meal that hits the spot but doesn’t leave you too heavy to run like hell from Harry Warden.”

Recipe below, read the entire post here.

Ingredients:
•    1/2 dry pasta of your choice
•    1 bag frozen artichoke hearts, thawed (or 1lb whole baby artichokes)
•    2 Tbs olive oil
•    1/2 cup chopped onion
•    1 clove garlic, minced
•    1/2 vegetable broth
•    1 cup prepared or homemade marinara
•    1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
•    1 lemon, cut into wedges for garnish.

If you’re using frozen artichoke hearts, lucky you! Let them thaw on your counter top, then drain them to make sure there’s no excess water.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. This is a good time to get the water for your pasta boiling as well. Cook and stir the artichoke hearts, onion and garlic for 5-10 minutes until the onion is soft and golden. Add the vegetable broth and cover the skillet. Bring it to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer 10-15 minutes.

Throw your pasta in the water when the artichokes have about 4-5 minutes left to simmer.

Preheat your broiler and spread the marinara in the bottom of an 8″, broiler-proof pan. Arrange the artichoke hearts cut-side-down in the sauce, plop the garlic and onions anywhere in the marinara. Sprinkle with cheese and brown under the broiler about 5 minutes, or until the marinara is hot and the cheese is melted. Remove from broiler and drain pasta (I feel like a jackass saying this, but cook the pasta according to the directions on the box, 9 minutes should do it.)

Serve the artichokes over pasta and garnish with lemon wedges. Wait until after dinner to reveal any unexpected plot twists you had planned for the rest of your evening.