Not So Good: The Most Brutal Weapons Used by Comic 'Heroes'

Some heroes save the day with their wits, some with their fists, some with webs, and some with gadgets. Superman can fly and breathe ice and shoot lasers from his eyeballs. Spider-man swings around kicking people and tying them up. Wonder Woman makes people tell the truth with her lasso. That's all well and good; those are the boy/girl scouts of the Superhero community. But some heroes are a little less, uh, careful with their weapon choices. Let's look at some of the most brutal weapons used by heroes... not villains, but actually used by the good guys. Wear a poncho, it's gonna get gruesome.

 

 

 

This is an easy one, right at the top of the list. Of course, everyone knows that Wolverine has adamantium-laced claws, and everyone knows that he uses them to slash up bad guys (and sometimes, accidentally, good guys). But think about it, he's a hairy, feral, wild man with a bad attitude that uses savage claws to rip his opponents apart. That's pretty brutal for a top-tier hero. Not exactly the same as tying up baddies with webbing and leaving them for the cops to find, is it?

 

 

 

When you're the spirit of vengeance and a skeleton-headed defender of the innocent, you wouldn't really want to use kid gloves on your enemies. Ghost Rider's chains, though not part of the original character design, have become so connected to the character that it's hard to imagine him without them. They can swing around at his will, he can stiffen them to become spear-like, he's choked out countless villains with them, hell… he can even make them explode, sending chain-shrapnel out against his foes. I imagine it would hurt to get whipped by a chain... so imagine how bad it would hurt to get whipped by a chain wielded by someone zipping by you on a motorcycle! Damn!

 

 

 

Spawn's one of those "heroes" who can't help but end up on these lists about brutality. He's so brutal when he needs to be, having destroyed more than his far share of ne'er-do-wells in Detroit (and in Hell, and all over the world, and…). Hardcore fans will note that all of Spawn's body is this organic substance called Necroplasm. But specifically we're talking about his Necroplasm suit. It allows him to form it into shapes of his will, like giant spikes. It also weighs a ton, but keeps him agile so he can jump around. Basically, Spawn's whole body is a killing machine, which is why he's one of our favorite heroes in comics!

 

 

 

We love this weapon because it is so simple and so brutal. Hawkman's a guy from a distant planet, garbed in special metal that allows him to defy gravity, capable of great feats of technology… and he uses a mace. Some story lines say he's better at using a mace because he's lived past lives and is used to more ancient weaponry. We think he prefers using the mace because it makes him look like a badass. This is another weapon, like Ghost Rider's chains, that you wouldn't want to see coming at you. Sure, a normal whack from a mace is no joke, but a hit from a mace that's wielded by a bird-man who's flying down at you at eighty miles an hour? No thanks.

 

 

 

This gonzo journalist star of the Warren Ellis-penned series Transmetroplitan is a low-down, bitter, rotten, drug-addled genius. In the seminal cyberpunk comic series Spider is always on the run from someone. In such a tough world he needs a good, show-stopping weapon at his side. Meet: The Bowel Disruptor Gun. Yes, it does exactly what you'd expect it to do to your bowels. And yes, it does have different settings, from woefully unpleasant to… uh… deadly. This iconic, insane weapon is just one of those little touches that makes Transmetroplitan one of the pillars of the indie comic scene.

 

So stay clear of claws, maces, chains… or any gun that gets aimed at your stomach. Did we miss an awesomely brutal hero's weapon on this list (don't anyone write in with "Superman's Fists"… doesn't count)? Let us know!