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Game Review: ‘Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable’

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Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable is amateurish, ugly, and painfully stupid.  It’s the sort of minimally produced effort that a single programmer should be embarrassed to release as freeware, let alone as a fully-priced release for a console like the Playstation Vita or the television-connected consoles that it originally released on. 

 

So why the hell can’t I stop playing it?

 

The story of Earth Defense Force is ripped straight from the b-movies of the 1950’s.  Earth has been contacted by aliens with unknown intentions, which we Earthlings dub Ravagers.  This naming becomes incredibly appropriate as they quickly ravage the planet (natch) with their armies of giant insects and city-dwarfing spacecraft.  The Earth Defense Force is quickly scrambled to deal with this threat head-on and stop the Ravagers before they lay waste to the human race.

 

The presentation of this story quickly sets the tone of EDF, with scenery-chewing voiceovers and hilariously awful story beats.  Early in the game, radio chatter establishes that swarms of extraterrestrial craft have laid waste to the entire Air Force, only to have those same swarms of craft reduced to smoldering metal wreckage after a few quick bursts of assault-rifle fire from my small battalion of ground troops.  These moments of unbridled ridiculousness liberally pepper the game with b-grade chuckles as you listen to virtually every person that contacts you via radio die an off screen death punctuated by a bloodcurdling scream, only to have those same murderous forces felled by the hundreds at the hands of the EDF.

 

When I say hundreds, I say that without hyperbole.  Your radar screen quickly becomes a cloud of malicious red dots representing the massive throngs of enemies that you have to cut down to save the world, and you cut them down with incredible ease.  It’s both empowering and cathartic to wade into the swarms of giant bugs that make up the majority of the Ravagers’ ground forces and reduce them to bursts of green ichor with even the most basic of weapons, sending their lifeless corpses bouncing weightlessly around the environment with no regard for physics.  These seemingly helium-filled bodies also drop scads of loot, including new weapons, armor packs that will permanently increase your maximum health, and health to keep you fighting through the massive mobs of monsters.  It makes you throw yourself even further into the fray, collecting the gobs of goodies as you clear out the levels of their enemies.

 

The enemies grow to be more ridiculous and insane as the levels progress, ranging from THEM-sized ants to gargantuan spiders, all the way up to chromed robots and hulking kaiju that reduce the cities you roam to smoldering rubble.  This is where the constant weapons upgrades come in handy, ranging from basic assault rifles to heat-seeking missile launchers, the latter coming in handy against those aforementioned kaiju beasts and the roving mother ships that spew forth the hundreds of giant insects that you’ll cut down level after level.  The escalation continues throughout the game’s entire run, keeping the canned gameplay entertaining and fresh.

With b-movies receiving cult accolades, there’s an inexplicable lack of love for “b-games,” which potentially offer similar, equally trashy joys.  Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable offers up these simple, low-budget thrills in a simple, Vita-based package that works, especially in the bite-sized levels that work well in a portable title. 


Genuine 'Evil Dead II' Prop on the Auction Block

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Evil_Dead_2_book
 
Attention all serious Evil Dead collectors with a lot of loose cash lying around: now's your chance to own one of the last props from Evil Dead II to be auctioned off by the film's artist, animator and design guru Tom Sullivan – a page from the Book of the Dead which Sullivan has titled “The Lost Forest.”
 
Evil_Dead_2_page
 
The page is an actual onscreen prop from the film, numbered on the back upper left corner and accompanied by a Certificate of Authenticity signed by Sullivan, who found the prop among the “Stunt Lost Pages” while searching for missing or lost artwork from the Evil Dead film series.
 
Bidding started at $625 on eBay, with no takers as of this writing, so if you're really serious you might want to hurry and make that appointment to sell your plasma...

Eli Roth Returns from 'The Green Inferno'

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Eli_Roth

According to a new interview with UK movie site Empire Online, director Eli Roth and the cast and crew of his new cannibal epic The Green Inferno had to endure some real-life jungle perils on location. If you haven't already heard, Inferno is Roth's return to the director's chair and a big-budget nod to the infamous 1980 gore classic Cannibal Holocaust, which is itself a forerunner to the modern found-footage horror genre. Roth claims to be side-stepping the original film's grindhouse tone, but he's still aiming for brutal realism, taking his team into regions of the Amazon that have never before been captured on film.
 
"Thank God no one got killed,” Roth told the magazine, “but there were tarantulas, there were spider bites, there were snakes. It was insane. Everybody had to get de-parasited after we got back.” But they all made it out alive, returning with footage he describes as “incredible.” He also described a surreal scenario in which he tried to explain the making of the movie to Amazon natives who didn't even know what a movie was. His solution? Screen them Cannibal Holocaust, of course. “They thought it was the funniest thing that they had ever seen,” he said.
 
Roth is now editing Green Inferno, which is slated for release next year. In the meantime, his new horror series Hemlock Grove will premiere on Netflix April 19th. Here's a trailer for that one:
 
 

Get a Zine Crash Course in Satanic Horror

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 Guide to Satanic Horror Cinema: 69 Films for the DevilThanks to the easy flow of information over the Internet, the fanzine is becoming something of a dinosaur, but for many of us, zines were an early and much-loved gateway to information and subcultures we would not have otherwise been exposed to.

For those of you reading who are still in your younger years, the fanzine revolves around a very simple idea: Find something you are obsessed with, write a bunch of stuff about it, cut and paste your fingers to the bone, photocopy, staple, distribute the booklet with your own hard-earned funds, and hope that other folks out there who are just as obsessed as you are find it and love it too.

The horror zine is unique in the fact that many early DIY titles grew into larger publications, including Cinefantastique. Today’s genre zines are less-frequently produced and tough to find, but there are many intrepid zine makers that persevere and continue to publish out of their homes. The authors behind the cut-and-pasted pages are still putting a ton of love and care into each print.

One of those authors is Samm Deighan, who writes for Paracinema and Diabolique and was a contributing writer to Fangoria. Deighan created three horror guides: Guide to Satanic Horror Cinema: 69 Films for the Devil, Un Guide Pour le Cinema de Jean Rollin, and The Strange Vice of Sergio Martino. Each primer is hand-crafted – yep, she photocopies and pastes - and offers the reader a one-page look at the each film. Satanic Horror is exhaustive, Rollin offers A LOT of topless ladies, and Martino covers his 40 plus year career. Deighan’s style offers a nice mix of personal perspective  - if the film's a crapfest she won’t mince words - with nut-and-bolts plot and cast details.

I spoke to Deighan about her guides and challenges of creating and disseminating the printed page in a post-paper, blogging world.

Can you give a brief overview of your three horror primers?

The satanic horror zine was my first effort at zine making in over 10 years, so it’s kind of all over the place. I chose between 70 and 80 satanic horror films and loosely organized them. The Jean Rollin and Sergio Martino zines both cover all the films directed by those fine gentlemen.

“Satanic Horror” is a huge genre, and it’s my favorite of your zines. How did you go about deciding what was in, what was out? Do you constantly want to update it?

I’ve already gotten requests to do a sequel, so I’m definitely thinking about it. I basically made a list of my favorite satanic horror films and did research to fill in the rest. I tried to include as much as I could. Turns out creating an 80+ page zine is really time consuming to photocopy and staple though.

Do you have a very top Satanic panic movie?

Undoubtedly Ken Russell’s masterpiece, The Devils.

The Devils may be the best use of a sexy nun in all celluloid history. Agree or disagree?

Actually I think The Devils is not remotely about sexy nuns. It’s about hysteria, trauma, sickness, repression, and financially motivated manipulation. Though Oliver Reed is lovely to look upon, not a lot about The Devils is sexy. The sexiest nun movie of all time is definitely Walerian Borowczyk’s Behind Convent Walls, which is sadly neglected and frequently banned because of its subject matter.
 
Sergio Martino FanzineFor those readers unfamiliar with Sergio Martino and Jean Rollin, can you sum up each director in two sentences?


Sergio Martino created some of the most creative(ly titled) Italian giallo films of the ‘70s and some of the most fun Italian exploitation films of the late ‘70s and ‘80s. Jean Rollin, who recently passed away, has created some of the most poetic, bizarre and nonsensical horror films of France or probably any other country. He specializes in nudie vampire movies.

Martino and Jean Rollin feature super-sexually explicit and, at times, very complicated depictions of women. Obviously, their styles don't deter you and you're a huge fan, but many people may find their films problematic. Not to get too theory-heavy, but how do you navigate and acknowledge that when writing your reviews for a broader audience?

This is sort of a sore subject for me. Because I have a gender-neutral name and write about horror/erotica people often assume I am a man and they sometimes assume I am misogynistic because of my interests. I am female, but as a writer and critic, I am less interested in female-specific experiences and more interested in explorations of sexuality and fantasy, particularly how these relate to horror/repression regardless of gender, race, class, age, etc. So Rollin and Martino are not at all problematic for me. Compared to the spectrum of horror filmmakers, I think they are actually two of the least offensive.

Both Martino and Rollin are a bit unusual, and perhaps intimidating, for the uninitiated. What is the one movie from each director would you suggest the new viewer watch first?

Martino newbies should definitely start with The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (Lo strano vizio della Signora Wardh aka Blade of the Ripper, 1971). As for Rollin, it’s a bit more difficult, because he’s known for his erotic vampire films, but actually has quite a range. Maybe Lips of Blood (Lèvres de sang, 1975) if I had to pick just one. Be warned that Rollin is an acquired taste.

Is there anyone comparable to these two directors making films now?

As far as I know, absolutely not. Though the French-Belgium film Amer (2009), directed by Hèléne Cattet and Bruno Forzani, is probably what would happen if Martino and Rollin made a cinematic baby. Even though I felt the film was deeply flawed, it is a more interesting experiment than a lot of the redundant horror being made today. 

You have your email address and website in the zine, in case anyone wants to send “death threats, naked pictures, or copies of Satanic films” you haven’t seen, what kind of response have your zines gotten in the horror community?

Sadly, no naked pictures. My blog is a lot more popular, but I’ve gotten some nice feedback and a lot more zines have sold than I ever could have guessed. I actually have to go restock the Martino issue tonight.

Where can people purchase them?

At my friend Kevin’s wonderful site, House of Mysterious Secrets. Every time I send someone there they wind up coming away with a lot more, generally some of his amazing custom designed horror t-shirts. 

Possibly the toughest question for a horror fan to answer: What one movie, made in the past few years, should every genre fan see?

Anything by Park Chan Wook, even though he is not strictly horror. Honestly, I hate most recent genre movies. The things other people seem excited about I tend to find boring, predictable, unimaginative.

Read Deighan’s Satanic Pandemonium and buy her zines here.

Giallo Fever: 'A Bay of Blood'

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We're back with the second installment in our new giallo spotlight series, moving backwards in time (from last week's spotlight on Lucio Fulci's Don't Torture a Duckling) to this landmark of both the giallo and slasher genres from legendary Italian director Mario Bava. Known alternately as Bay of Blood, Twitch of the Death Nerve, Blood Bath or Carnage (and probably a few more), this gory 1971 outing arrived seven years after Bava's incredible Blood and Black Lace, which itself set the tone for nearly all giallo films of the '60s and '70s. Bay is a less significant film in the grand scheme of things, but I think it's often unjustly overlooked, especially considering its huge influence on the body-count slasher flicks of the late '70s and early '80s.
 
Bay_octopus
 
The story is very simple compared to some of the more twisty giallo who-done-it plotlines, and revolves around an elderly countess whose greedy relatives are literally at each other's throats to seize inheritance of her valuable bayside property. The bodies pile up at an amazing rate, making it one of the most violent films in Bava's career. While the cinematography is lacking in comparison to the vivid primary colors of Blood and Black Lace or Black Sabbath, Bava and company make up for it in quantity of bloodletting; Bay of Blood is a turning point for giallo brutality, with graphic makeup effects by Oscar winner Carlo Rambaldi (who would ramp up the gore another notch for Dario Argento's giallo classic Deep Red four years later). 
 
Bay_spear
 
The outrageous murder set-pieces in this film are so memorable that some would be lifted almost shot-for-shot by future filmmakers. If you think the idea of a randy couple shish-kabobbed through the bed or a guy taking a machete to the skull originated in Friday the 13th Part 2, you haven't been doing your homework; Bava pulled off those kills a full decade earlier. The fish hook murders in I Know What You Did Last Summer? Bava's already been there. In a sense, the entire body-count slasher concept began with this film, three years before Bob Clark's Black Christmas, which is widely considered to be the template for the slasher genre... but that's another debate. Regardless of its significance in horror film history, Bay of Blood is a wet 'n' wild ride that never fails to entertain. Even its funky psychedelic trailer rocks!
 

 

Gift Guide: Cthulhu in Love Perfume

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cthulhu in loveBlack Phoenix Alchemy Lab has created thousands of gothic, horror, and evil-related perfume oils, with tie-ins and inspiration from everything from Neil Gaiman and ParaNorman, to seven deadly sins and mythological creatures. They have so many unique and crazy scents it is tough to choose just one or two to feature.

So I took the easy way out and went with a limited edition scent specifically created for Think Geek. Called "Cthulhu in Love," it is purported to be made of the love pheromones excreted by Cthulhu. Luckily, those pheromones happen to smell of incense, spices, kelp, sea salt, dark ocean plants and chocolate.

$17.99 at Think Geek

'Godzilla' Gobbles Up Bryan Cranston and Elizabeth Olsen

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Godzilla Nabs Elizabeth OlsenThere’s been some mayhem in the Godzilla camp.  Production was delayed when Frank Darabont was brought in to rewrite Max Borenstein’s script. This was on the heels of the dispute between Legendary and producers Dan Lin and Roy Lee resulting in Lin and Lee leaving the project.

But now, some good news: Legendary Pictures is in talks with Elizabeth Olsen and Bryan Cranston to co-star in the giant monster movie. No word on plot or character details yet.

English actor Aaron Johnson of Kick Ass fame is also in talks for the movie. I can only imagine he will play love interest to Olsen.

This casting makes me hopeful for the Godzilla reboot. Cranston, as we all know, rules the screen in everything and Olsen was great in Martha Marcy May Marlene.  She continues to grow her horror CV with 2012’s Silent House and a co-starring role in Spike Lee’s upcoming remake of Oldboy.

via Variety

Sneak Peek: 'The Walking Dead' Cast on Larry King

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Can't wait for the return of 'The Walking Dead' Season 3 on AMC this Sunday night? Well, here's a little something to whet your appetite. Cast members Norman Reedus (Daryl) and Danai Gurira (Michonne) were both on the latest episode of Larry King Now which premieres later today on Hulu and Ora.TV. King is well known for his distinct style of interviewing guests, as well as his knack for "winging" casual conversations, but before the entire interview airs, you can watch a batch of clips from it right here on FEARnet. Check 'em out below (don't worry it's spoiler free) and watch the entire episode once it goes live on http://www.hulu.com/larry-king-now and www.ora.tv/larrykingnow at 5PM EST. You can follow King on Twitter at @KingThings

 

UPDATE:  The full episode is now available courtesy of hulu.


'The Walking Dead' Season 3 Box Set is Even Cooler Than Season 2

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Last year, we were psyched to discover that The Walking Dead season two blu-ray came in an awesome zombie head - complete with screwdriver to the eye. Well, they've just announced the season three special edition box set, and I think it is even more amazing than last year's.

To honor the Governor's role in the third season, the box set will be shaped like the Governor's zombie-head fish tank. For the second year in a row, Todd McFarlane designed the case, and he got started on it before season three even began filming. He and series creator Robert Kirkman knew they wanted to honor the Governor with the case. McFarlane's crew was on set as they were building and shooting the Governor fish tank scenes, so it will be remarkably accurate to the show.

the walking dead

Guess what? It gets even more fun. All the zombie heads come on hooks, so you can arrange them however you want or just let them float aimlessly. Oh did I forget to mention - you fill it with water. You have to provide your own water, but that is a small price to pay for awesomeness. And finally, the case has ambient lighting, illuminating those zombie heads.

the walking dead

There is no other release info as of yet - probably because season three is only half-over. But you can bet I will be pre-ordering this as soon as I can.

Season three of The Walking Dead returns to AMC on February 10th.

Source: MTV Geek

CineMayhem Film Fest Invades Theaters This March

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CineMayhemSome really cool news via Dread Central writer Heather Wixson: The first-ever CineMayhem Film Fest will kick off at Muvico Theaters in Thousand Oaks, California on March 2 and 3. The festival is a launch event for Dread Central’s Indie Horror Month.

Founded by WIxson and dedicated to celebrating the spirit of independent filmmaking, the festival will showcase the present and future of independent genre filmmaking. The line-up includes the World Premieres of Roadside directed by Eric England (Madison County) and the latest short film from Ryan Spindell (Kirksdale), The Root of the Problem as well as the West Coast Premieres of two other short films- Paul Davis' (Beware the Moon: Remembering An American Werewolf in London) Him Indoors and Split the Check by Patrick Rea (Nailbiter).  

CineMayhem will also feature advanced screenings of two highly anticipated genre projects The ABC's of Death and Breaking Glass Pictures' mind-bending drama K-11 directed by Jules Stewart.

Ticket information and the full festival line-up will be announced later this month; to keep up with all the CineMayhem to come this March, follow us on CineMayhem on Twitter or on Facebook.

Congratulations to Wixson for starting a really cool event. Maybe she’ll even bring the festival to the east coast?

James Newman’s Novel is 'Wicked' Good Fun

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WckedFor some reason, small towns are frequent targets for horror writers. I’ve lost track of all the small towns that have been invaded, possessed, overrun, decimated, burned or otherwise leveled in the hundreds of horror novels I’ve read over the years. One of the most famous examples belongs to Stephen King, who built a little hamlet called Castle Rock from the ground up over a number of years (and books) before wiping it off the map in Needful Things. Plenty of his peers have gleefully wreaked similar havoc.

James Newman didn’t give his creation, a small North Carolina town called Morganville, very long in the spotlight. He introduces it in the opening pages of his novel The Wicked (newly revised and out now in paperback from Shock Totem) as the site of a tragic fire that consumed the Heller Home for Children – along with most of its inhabitants. A thing like that would be enough to bring many such close-knit communities to their knees, but it’s only the first in a string of atrocities Newman has planned.

The book revolves around a young couple, David and Kate Little. They have a seven-year-old daughter, Becca, and another child on the way. Kate’s pregnancy is one wedge that is slowly pushing the couple apart; the child was conceived under horrific circumstances, and the incident is what drove the family from David’s beloved New York City down to North Carolina. The other wedge is David’s attitude, which veers from petty at times to downright selfish at others. This attitude makes it difficult to sympathize with David as the book progresses.

The Littles hit town shortly after the tragedy at the Heller Home, and their first night in their new home is marred by the suicide of a neighbor. It quickly becomes apparent that the site of the Heller Home is Ground Zero for the evil that has set its sights on Morganville. The manifestation of that evil – a being called Moloch – is Newman’s finest achievement here; a shadowy, demonic figure, a remorseless puppet master that employs possession, visions, nightmares and spirits to advance toward its endgame.

Newman should also be credited for the novel’s strong supporting cast, especially George Heatherly, a tough-as-nails ex-Marine who helps David take the fight to Moloch, and Sam Guice, Morganville’s beleaguered sheriff, a good man who is unable to stop the town he loves from descending into chaos and death.

Newman infuses The Wicked with a mix of visceral B-movie shocks (think oversized, venomous insects and gruesome groin injuries) and quieter moments that are genuinely creepy and unsettling. These tonal shifts happen smoothly, and rather than divide the book into unequal halves they meld it into a unique, satisfying whole. The book’s climax does abandon the quieter aspects for all-out action, and while I might have preferred those quieter moments, the final assault on Moloch is undeniably entertaining and exciting, bringing the book to a powerful close.

The Wicked is a big, fun throwback to the kind of everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach to horror fiction that dominated the shelves in the 1980s, the decade Newman references in his afterword as a major influence on this novel. It’s a brash, in-your-face read, and definitely worth tracking down.

Order The Wicked by James Newman. Blu Gilliand is a freelance writer of fiction and nonfiction. He covers horror fiction at his blog, October Country, and contributes interviews to the Horror World website. Follow him on Twitter at @BluGilliand.

Treasure Trove of Original, Oversized VHS Boxes from Wizard Video Discovered

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virgin among the living deadCharles Band, who currently runs Full Moon Features, started Wizard Video in 1980 and was a pioneer in the early days of the home video market. He specialized in horror flicks, and was responsible for first bringing titles like Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I Spit on Your Grave to the home market.

During a recent warehouse cleaning, Band discovered a treasure trove of original, mint-condition VHS boxes. These are not the typical cardboard slipcovers most people think about when they think of VHS boxes (those of us old enough to remember VHS.) These are oversized boxes - some cardboard, some plastic clamshell boxes - that had a brief run in the early 1980s before everyone moved to the cheaper, smaller cardboard sleeves.

Band is now releasing these original cases with authentic VHS reproductions of the movies inside. Rolling out four a month for the next nine months, some of the films haven't been available in any form for decades. Each film is limited to just a few hundred copies, with numbered spines and covers signed by Band. The first wave of videos is available now for $50 each. 

Band also discovered original cases for Atari 2600 video games Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween; releases for these planned for later in the year.

The full lineup is as follows. For more info and to purchase, visit WizardVideoCollection.com

 

FEBRUARY 12headless eyes
RETURN OF THE ZOMBIES
TRAUMA
OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES
DEMONIAC

MARCH 12
A VIRGIN AMONG THE LIVING DEAD
FEAR
BREEDERS
HEADLESS EYES

APRIL
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
BLOOD CASTLE
MANDINGA
TORMENTOR

MAY
ZOMBIE
MONSTER HUNTER
SPACE VAMPIRES
THE SCREAMING DEAD

JUNE
SS EXPERIMENT
DREAMANIAC
SAVAGE ISLAND
EROTIKILL

JULYreturn of the zombies
ZOMBIE LAKE
SPACE ZOMBIES
ZOMBIETHON
BEST OF SEX & VIOLENCE

AUG
FILMGORE
HELLTRAIN
POSSESSOR
FAMOUS T&A

SEPT
THE INVISIBLE DEAD
BEAST
THE MISS NUDE AMERICA CONTEST
FIEND

OCT
FRAULEIN DEVIL
WHITE SLAVE
ESCAPE
PARASITE

U.K. 'Being Human' to End AFter Five Seasons

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being humanThe series that started out as a punchline and turned out to be really, really good, Being Human is ending its run after five seasons on BBC. Syfy Channel's Being Human is based on the British format, but deviates greatly after the first season. This news will have no effect on the American series.

Series creator Toby Whitehouse confirmed the show's end in a lengthy letter on his blog: "Being Human really shouldn't have happened. A preposterous idea, an epic and circuitous development process, a modest budget - no, we really shouldn't have lasted. But Being Human was the little show that could, and that ridiculous idea managed to last 37 episodes, spawn an American version, 3 novels, an on-line spin-off and garner a shelf of awards."

Being Human began its fifth and final season on the BBC3 on February 3rd. The final season will air on BBC America later this year.

Our Favorite Final Guys

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Let me introduce you to the 'Final Guy'.

So we all pretty much know the basic slasher film tropes that earn a horror character the 'final girl' title, right? For those of you at the back who fell asleep during your last film theory lesson; it's pretty much as it sounds – the last character left after the dust, blood and all kinds of unspeakable carnage has finally settled. She's the one that demonstrates exceptional perseverance in the face of abject terror and most importantly, the one who subdues the maniac once and for all -or until the next sequel at least. This character just so happens to be a girl because that was the gender of choice for those wonderful folk who decided their main hero (or victim) when writing for this ostensibly male dominated genre.

How about we focus on someone a little more under-appreciated by the horror audiences and theorists – the 'final' guy. There are so few fine examples of us guys kicking psycho-killer ass in modern horror history, we thought it high time for a tip of the hat to these unsung heroes of the genre. Hey, we can save the day too, alright?

Jesse WalshJesse Walsh (Mark Patton) Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2– 1985

“Something is trying to get inside my body.”
Jesse takes over from one of the undisputed horror scream queens in the unintentionally homoerotic sequel to Wes Craven's original nightmare. Where Nancy Thompson battled the infamous son of a hundred maniacs in the dream world, Jesse Walsh arguably has something a lot more horrifying to endure. Freddy wants to get inside him – literally. One of the more memorable kills in the series sees Freddy tear through Jesse's body leaving his skin on the floor like a used rubber and giving his bud Ron the five razor finger treatment. Survives the entire film and is not brought back to die in a later sequel, much like the majority of the Elm Street kids.

Jim HalseyJim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell ) The Hitcher– 1986

“Do I look like a killer to you?”
“Because I cut off his legs. And his arms. And his head...and I'm gonna do the same to you”.. So begins Jim Halsey's lonely descent into hell as he becomes the sole fixation of cryptic roadside madman John Ryder, brilliantly realised by the awesome Rutger Hauer. If a final guy is to suffer greatly before the end then Halsey accomplishes does in spades – he spends pretty much the entire opening running time of the film pinned against the driver's window of his car as Ryder ominously asks him to repeat the words “I wanna die..” One of the few horror heroes with the good sense to go back and double check that the villain is dead at the story climax - hitting him with his car then promptly dispatching Ryder with some much deserved shotgun justice.

Ash Evil DeadAshley C Williams (Bruce Campbell)  Evil Dead Trilogy– 1981 to 1992

“You bastards, why are you torturing me like this? Why?”
I think that Ashley C Williams' inclusion on any list like this pretty much be mandatory and more than likely be of no surprise to any of you who like to call themselves genre fans. Ash pretty is pretty much the final girl of the first Evil Dead film – seemingly meek and virginal at first, his fellow cabin mates are reduced to screeching deadites foaming at the mouth for human souls forcing Ash to don his best accidental hero outfit and save the day. Groovy.

Brewster Fright NightCharlie Brewster (William Ragsdale) Fright Night– 1985

“Get lost,evil!”
Pop quiz, hot shot – your next door neighbour turns out to be a real blood sucking vampire and your friends and family wouldn’t believe you if you told them. What do you do? What do you do?! Enlist the help of an old Hammer horror TV host, it would seem. Slightly loses some standing on the list for having so much help. You didn't see Jamie Lee Curtis getting this kind of help, did you Charlie?

Andy Child's PlayAndy Barclay (Alex Vincent) Child's Play Trilogy– 1988 to 1991

“This IS the end, friend.”
Poor little Andy Barclay – not only is he the recipient of cinema's most homicidal doll, but he ends up on the run from his homicidal Good Guy doll Chucky right up until the age of sweet sixteen. Still, he emerges from the climax of Child's Play 3 in one piece, not a feat to take lightly when you're just a wee lad. Bags youngest final guy honours.



Ben Night of the Living DeadBen (Duane Jones) Night Of The Living Dead– 1968

“This is no Sunday School picnic!”
One of the earliest examples of a final guy in George Romero's 1968 seminal film. Social and class boundaries are smashed amidst the zombie siege that started them all. Sure, he dosent survive the film, but that’s down to the gun toting red-neck vigilantes performing mop-up duties on and not the undead menace that he manages to outlast.

Dutch PredatorMajor Alan 'Dutch' Schaefer (Arnold Schwarzenegger) Predator– 1987

“If it bleeds, we can kill it.”
A squad of muscle bound, tobacco chewing mercenaries could would hardly ever be considered monster fodder but that's exactly what happens in John McTiernan's now legendary action horror. Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer may be built like a brick shit house and armed with an assault rifle bigger than your entire body but that still dosent stop him qualifying from the final guy survivor status, especially when we cut to the perspective of the killer so much – a classic slasher movie trope. Another final guy to emerge victorious over the killer and not brought back to be slain for the sequel.

Macready The ThingR.J. Macready (Kurt Russell) The Thing– 1982

“Cheatin' bitch.”
Another sure thing for our final guy countdown. Did you ever doubt R.J. Macready's appearance in this run-down? A murderous alien parasite finds its way on to a remote Arctic research station and systematically slaughters the occupants one by one. Inspiring an escalating sense of sheer panic and paranoia, John Carpenter's 1982 body horror classic proved that the monster movie idea still had teeth. Macready not only manages to outfox the alien beastie for the majority of the film's running time but manages to escape death at the hands of his increasingly hostile co workers – even if it does mean tying them all up and forcing them to undergo an impromptu blood test. His final guy status could be disputed because he is not the sole survivor ... but then again, are they both human?

Roger Cobb HouseRoger Cobb (William Kat) House– 1986

“I beat you!And this goddamn house!”
Roger Cobb is pretty much screwed from the opening crawl of this Sean S. Cunnigham produced haunted house caper. Recently divorced and having lost his son, he moves into the lonely old house alone to write a painful memoir of his experiences touring Vietnam. It dosent seem to faze him that his old aunt was found hanging by the neck from the rafters, prior to his moving in. Cue a barrage of horrifying ghouls emanating from his closet that are determined to drive him over the edge. Supernatural menace or post-war syndrome?


Alex Final DestinationAlex Browning (Devon Sawa) Final Destination– 2000

“We're all on the same list.”
Perhaps one of the more peculiar entries on our list simply because there is no killer or villain to confront and overcome in Alex Browning's story. He may be a little more adept at figuring out that death – or fate, whatever you want to call it – has a plan, but ultimately the only thing that sets him apart from his friends is his apparent pre cognitive abilities. Having foreseen his fiery death on board a passenger airliner along with his best friends, Alex panics, forcing the cabin crew to eject them all. Subsequently saving their lives. Sure enough, just as in his premonition, the plane explodes. His friends are now picked off one by one by an unseen force that Alex deduces is death itself. Not strictly a 'final' guy as he dosent make it through alone but without doubt one of the stronger male characters in modern American horror. Unfortunately loses standing on our list due to being quitely killed as a side-note in Final Destination 2.
 

Exclusive: Dee Wallace Talks 'Hansel and Gretel' and 'Lords of Salem'

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Dee Wallace is well known in genre circles. Perhaps best known as “E.T.’s mom” (actually Elliot’s mom, but when you are a kid, everything revolves around E.T.) she has starred in well over 100 films, including Cujo, The Hills Have Eyes, Critters, Popcorn, The Frighteners, The Howling, and Halloween (2007). Her two most recent genre outings are Hansel and Gretel (no relation to the Jeremy Renner version) and Rob Zombie’s Lords of Salem. She opened up to us about low-budget filmmaking and working with Rob Zombie.

dee wallace hansel and gretelHow did you get involved in Hansel and Gretel?

Anthony Ferrante, the director, called me up and said, “Please, will you do this?” I loved the take on this story that they had come up with. I thought it was very true to the original story, and yet very creative, bringing it into the 2013 horror genre. Most of all, I just really respect Anthony. I think he’s got a lot of integrity and a lot of creativity. We both said that we didn’t want to go in there and play her like the typical witch. We wanted to go in and play her in a way that people can somehow understand who she is and make her more real. I think we did that. The first time I see anything I do, I tend to want to run out of the room in horror. I watched this the first time and thought, “Dang, we did a good movie here.” It was a very low budget, and there wasn’t a lot of time. I really liked this film! It’s weird and all over the place, there is comedy in it, but you really do understand the characters - even the witch. You get to understand what propels her. There is a great arc to play, and I love to play a great arc. 

You said it was a really hard shoot. Was that just because of the time and the budget?

Yes, let’s start with that. Every day for the week and a half that I was on, it was over 100 degrees and not one place we shot in had air conditioning. That makes it really hard - just to keep your energy up. Unlike most horror films and action/sci-fi films, this one had a lot of scenes and a lot of lines. We were shooting incredibly fast and there was a lot of studying that had to go down. I loved working with Stephanie Greco [Gretel] and that was what I loved when I read the script. It wasn’t “Here is this character, let’s watch how we are going to kill him.” There were real scenes to play and an arc to build. It was challenging. We had a limited - but awesome - crew. We were trying to do special effects with less budget than we needed.

When you started shooting this film, did you know that there would be another, bigger-budgeted Hansel and Gretel coming out around the same time?

No. When we finally saw the final cut of this film, everyone thought this needed to be a feature film [with a theatrical release.] Then they found out that the big-budget one was coming out. I think it would have been interesting to see what happened if both came out at the same time and people could compare them. Money doesn’t make a film. E.T. was Steven Spielberg’s “little” film. He had a fifth of the budget he normally has. It’s not the money; it’s the script and the performances and people who know what they are doing with the money they have.

dee wallace lords of salemLords of Salem feels like it has been shrouded in secrecy, but that may just be because we have been hearing about it for years. What can you tell us about your role in it?

I think part of that is who Rob is. He’s a great showman; he’s a private person. He knows that the power of his films is not to give everything away before you see it, because then you don’t experience it fully.

It’s about the witches of Salem. We follow the bloodline and the curse into current day. I play one of the witches - there are three of us - that have been given the job of helping deliver payback to all of the ancestors of the original people who burned the witches in the first place. Rob wrote the part for me. Initially, I am a self-help guru, but I get to play a very big arc. Of course, the person who helps us access all that we have to do is Sherri Moon Zombie.

You’ve worked with Rob on several pictures. He seems to like working with the same actors. Does that help foster a family feel on set?

He loves bringing back and honoring horror icons. He’s very faithful to some people, then reaches out to other people who fall into that category. For example, Patricia Quinn is from Rocky Horror Picture Show. She plays one of the witches. What I love about working with Rob, and with Anthony Ferrante, is that they have a very clear vision and they give you an amazing amount of freedom to come in and create what you want. For me, that is the best of the creative worlds: when everyone comes in and says, “This is the goal we have to get to, now let’s hear all your ideas of how we do it. If I don’t like it, I will pull you back, but if I do, I will give you all the rope in the world.”

Do you frequently get pulled back?

I don’t, though I crossed over this in Hansel and Gretel. I take pride in always keeping everything real. Everything. So whatever response or reaction I have, no matter how far out it is, whether it is as a mother or a witch, it has to be hooked in reality. So I’m not pulled back very often. I am actually encouraged to go further more often than I am asked to pull back.

Do you consider yourself a Scream Queen?

Absolutely - and proud of it! I am a good screamer, I am a good crier, and not just in a horror film. To take these films and make them real, and give people the opportunity to explore their fears through my performance... I’m happy with that.

Hansel and Gretel is out now on DVD. Lords of Salem is due in theaters April 19th.


Here's 10 Vintage Horror Trailers with Original Footage!

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Last week, I embarked on a fun little assignment to pull together a batch of teaser trailers for horror sequels; the one criteria being that they all had to feature exclusive footage specifically shot and used just for that trailer. One of the greatest aspects of putting together articles like this is that after I finish them, I like to open up the discussion amongst my Facebook friends and see if we agree or if they have other suggestions I could’ve possibly gone with. While I already had my horror sequels picked out, I got a handful of terrific recommendations for teaser trailers featuring original footage for non-sequel horror movies. So, low and behold, I thought these awesome teasers warranted a separate article and man, some of these are cool as all hell! Special thanks to Jared Rivet, Jeff Nelson & Sean Keller for pointing out quite a few of these to me, some of which I’d never seen before. Let’s have a look and see if you guys are familiar with any of these teasers? I broke it up into 3 sub-categories just for the fun of it!

PART ONE: Fun With Skulls!

Suspiria– 'Suspiria' is arguable Dario Argento’s greatest film, both artistically and stylistically and is considered a favorite amongst horror fans. But have you ever seen this bizarre trailer to the movie? It opens with Goblin’s now infamous Suspria theme while a female character recites the "roses are red" poem. But alas, when the girl turns around, she’s nothing more than a skeleton! And "skulls" will be the theme of this first batch of trailers. There’s also that great tagline, "The only thing more terrifying than the last 12 minutes of Suspiria are the first 92." My first reaction to that is, "wait… the movie’s over a 100 minutes long?" Second reaction is… "cool!"



Return To Horror High– 'Return To Horror High' is not a very good movie. Let’s just get that out of the way right off the bat. But it did have a pretty rad theatrical one sheet poster which featured the skeleton of a cheerleader in mid-cheer. The teaser tries to recreate this character from the poster into the trailer itself by opening with a cheerleader doing her thing while the narrator tells us about the "series of brutal and savage murders" that occurred at this school back in 1982. And when the cheerleader whips around, she’s wearing a skull mask! It’s disturbing on several levels and freaky to see the poster come to life, but has nothing to really do with the actual film itself. 'Return To Horror High' does feature a young George Clooney in a practically thankless role both early in the film & in his career, but if you want classic vintage Clooney, I strongly recommend 'Return Of The Killer Tomatoes'. Now that movie is at least fun!


Visiting Hours– This is a really, really cool teaser that evokes yet again the poster design for the theatrical one-sheet. (And is also very similar to the recently released anthology flick V/H/S!) It kicks off with the unsettling loud blaring of an ambulance signal while the narrator recites the tagline "In this hospital, you next visit may be your last." Slowly but surely and in between snippets of footage from the movie, the lights of the hospital all form together to make a human skull!



PART TWO: Audience Participation!

Scanners– Ah, then there’s the audience participation promos; a series of trailers that slice footage from the film with footage of unsuspecting audience members reacting to the horrors on the silver screen. An effective way of getting us to wonder what it is they’re so terrified by. We want to see the horrors too! And the trailer for David Cronenberg’s 'Scanners' does plenty of teasing! It’s just actors from the movie convulsing, audience members shrieking and the promise that "their thoughts will kill!"


When A Stranger Calls– 'When A Stranger Calls' is a rare breed of horror movie. Often heralded as a "classic", I saw it way after the fact and while the opening and ending are genuinely creepy, (the entire middle section following the reformed killer is weird as hell!) it’s no more really than a knock-off of one of the best moments from Bob Clark’s Black Christmas, a horror film I hold in my top 5 of all time and consider a true classic. However, most people remember the "killer is in the house" phone gag from this movie (which is not only revealed in every advertisement for the film, but also a scene very early in the film) and this cool teaser showing the audience reaction is pretty great. On a side note, did you know actress Carol Kane and writer/director Fred Walton returned for a made-for-TV sequel in 1993 called ‘When A Stranger Calls Back’? The original movie was also remade in 2006.



PART THREE: Addressing The Audience!

Magic - Have a puppet, a doll, or a ventriloquist dummy in anything and I’ll immediately be freaked out. Have a dummy talking directly to me and I’m ready to turn it off and run into the other room! The teaser for 'Magic', a feature starring a very young Anthony Hopkins is a quirky & unsettled trailer that also promises "a terrifying love story." If you’ve never seen it, it’s definitely worth seeking out, but be warned it may not be what you expect. In other words, it’s not a killer doll movie per se; it’s more about the psychological break-down of an artist obsessed with a woman he once loved and continues to pine for. It’s a really cool movie.


Martin– As a big fan of George Romero, I love ‘Martin’. It stands apart not only as one of the most unique movies in his filmography, but also one of his best and is considered a huge fan favorite. And much like Larry Fessenden’s great ‘Habit’ (another one of my personal favorites), you’re never quite sure how legitimate the lead character’s claims of being a vampire really are. That said, I’d never seen this teaser before where Martin is addressing the audience and breaking down the myths of vampirism and nonchalantly talking about himself and his thirst for blood. Kudos to actor John Amplas not only for his performance in the actual movie but for timelessly capturing Martin in this unique promotional trailer as well. If you’ve never seen it, seek it out asap. The ending will stay with you long after the credits roll.


Poltergeist– Here’s a really neat trailer I’d never seen before. Rather than show any actual footage from the film, this 'Poltergeist' teaser features a group of real life paranormal investigators explaining the phenomenon of hauntings. It’s interesting that the modern batch of "found footage" ghost movies haven’t attempted to use this tactic, but then again that’s what makes this particular trailer all the more special and unique. This basic set-up paired with the promise of a movie from "producer Steven Speilberg" (which Tobe Hooper directed), it’s an easy sell!


The Blood Spattered Bride/I Dismember Mama Double-Feature - Whoa. I've definitely never seen this promotional trailer until FEARnet's editor-in-cheif Lawrence Raffel emailed it over. And quite frankly, it needs to be seen to be believed! Can a double feature of 'The Blood Spattered Bride' paired up with 'I Dismember Mama' truly drive an audience member "berzerk?" According to this news report, it can and has! Just don't forget your "Up Chuck Cup"!


Notable Mention: The Funhouse (Book)– Did you know that legendary horror author Dean Koontz did a novelization of Tobe Hooper’s ‘The Funhouse’?! And that a trailer was produced for the book release? Neither did I! But here it is!

'Battle Royale' Returns to Theaters... with a New Mondo Poster

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BR_cast
 
Fans of extreme Japanese cinema are already intimate with Kinji Fukasaku's still-controversial film Battle Royale, the bloody teenage survival epic based on a best-selling novel that spawned its own sequel and became the obvious inspiration for The Hunger Games. While it's been a staple in most fans' video collections, the film has never received any major theatrical screenings in the USA... until now.
 
The web platform Tugg, which enables movie fans nationwide to set up screening events in their own home town, has teamed up with the Mondo artist collective and the Alamo Drafthouse to bring Battle Royale to theaters at last. Tugg recently added the film to their library, and Mondo artists Bryan Lee O'Malley and Kevin Tong created this wicked new poster art for the re-release, which will be provided to promoters of each screening for giveaways to attendees (while supplies last). Dig it!
 
BR_Mondo
The first screening is already set to go, as part of the opening weekend festivities at the new Alamo Drafthouse Vintage Park in Houston on February 16th. The ticket price of $85 (go here to reserve) includes a limited edition copy of Mondo's Battle Royale poster (the regular edition, shown above, will be available from MondoTees.com soon)
 
You can request your own screening of Battle Royale by visiting Tugg.com, and you can find out how the Tugg platform works at their how-to page.

Infamous 'Ghost in a Jar' ebay Auction Turns Ten

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In 2003, a strange jar with mysterious marking showed up on ebay under the title Ghost in a Jar. The seller wrote they “would not be held responsible if the black thing escaped the jar.” What appeared to be a joke – it’s just a badly painted peach jar with some sort of fake runes written across it – ended a week later with a final bid of $50,922.

There was no sale, but Ghost in a Jar created a phenomenon on ebay- including buttons, t-shirt and bumper sticker sales. As well as spin-off items, PMS in a Jar," "Ghost Retreat for Ghost in a Jar,” which ebay pulled down.

What’s actually in the jar remains a mystery, but the jar itself will be remembered by some as a “the first unusual online auction to garner national attention” and by others as a great prank that probably came from the mind of a 14-year-old male horror fan. Read more about the haunted jar here.
 

Ghost Jar

 

 

'Stake Land' Star Nick Damici to Lead Cast of 'Late Phases'

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Stake_Land
 
MPI's Dark Sky Films has announced that Nick Damici, star of cult horror faves Stake Land and We Are What We Are, will lead the cast of Late Phases, the first English-language production from rising horror director Adrian Garcia Bogliano (Here Comes The Devil, Penumbra, Cold Sweat).
 
Dark Sky is co-producing Late Phases with Zak Zeman's Site B Productions (S-VHS), and will also be joining forces again with Larry Fessenden's Glass Eye Pix (as they did previously on House of the Devil, Stake Land, The Innkeepers and more). The story focuses on a man who moves into a town where the residents are being killed by predators believed to be dogs... but after barely surviving one such attack, he discovers that the assailants are something even more dangerous.
 
"We're excited to be working with MPI Dark Sky again, with a great script and Damici in the lead,” said Fessenden. “I have admired Zak Zeman's recent work and look forward to joining forces to bring Bogliano's vision to the screen.”
 
Shooting on Late Phases is scheduled to begin this spring. Future productions from Dark Sky include Frankenstein's Army, Hatchet III and Stitches.

Bagged and Boarded Comic Reviews: The Crow, Venom, and More

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New comic book Wednesday has come and gone. The dust at your local comic shop has settled. An eerie silence descends as you finish reading your last superhero book of the week. Now it's time for something a little more sinister. Welcome to Bagged and Boarded: comic reviews of the sick, spooky, twisted and terrifying!

the crowThe Crow: Skinning The Wolves No. 3

This is a Crow story unlike any we've ever seen before. The poor dead sap who's now tasked with being the Crow is a victim of the Nazis in a concentration camp. During his brutal death and subsequent undeath, the Crow goes on a killing spree looking for the vile general who killed him and his family. This issue shows him finding his quarry, and the blood will flow.

Bag it or board it up? I don't usually like Crow comics. I find them a little goth, a little melodramatic, and kind of, well... corny. But this comic, holy smokes. This comic bursts with drama, empathy, sadness and excitement that is so rare in comics like this. Not since the original Crow comics have I been so moved by a Crow comic (if that makes sense). Pick it up. Pick up the earlier two issues. This is awesome.

colderColder No. 4

The crazy hunk Declan, whose temperature keeps dropping, dips his toes into the world of the insane once again. Now that Nimble Jack (a beatnik monster who feeds on the minds of the insane) is fully on the loose and has Reece captured it's up to Declan to get weird. He journeys once again into the world of the insane, and comes face to face with his nemesis.

Bag it or board it up? This is a fun, quick issue. It moves at a very fast clip and shows more of the world of the insane. With giant dogs that have human hands for bodies and a huge beast lurking, the whole thing feels very beyond. It's a blast to read and I can't wait for the conclusion next month!

willowWillow No. 4

Willow's been a bit distracted from her goal of saving the world. After a rude awakening from what turned out to be a pretty pleasurable side-track, Willow is back on the case to re-ignite the spark of magic on Earth. But her friends and cohorts aren't quite as helpful as she originally thought, and everywhere she turns ghosts from her past keep creeping back into her life.

Bag it or board it up? This issue won't be for everyone. There isn't a lot of big magic, and there isn't a lot of action. But the story's here. The emotional cues, the plot twists, and the classically awesome Buffy-verse dialogue.

venomVenom No. 31

A little backstory if you're out of the loop with the current state of the Venom mythos. Flash, that old high school bully of Peter Parker's, went to the Army. He was a war hero but lost both his legs, and through an experiment with the U.S. government, was injected with the alien symbiote and made into a special agent. During the day he's confined to a wheelchair. At night he prowls the streets as Venom, the dark-sided superhero. Today's issue concerns his move to Philadelphia, where he takes up residence as the city's newest hero.

Bag it or board it up? I'm a native Philadelphian now relocated further north. I loved that city. And if I had to choose one hero to represent my city of brotherly love... it would definitely be Venom. Philly has a kind of grittiness that screams for a dark, foreboding hero like Venom. I always said Batman would have had more fun in Philly. Now we've got our Batman, and he's got a giant fang-laden mouth that can eat a guy whole.

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