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FEARNET Movie Review: 'A Field in England'

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Given how much time I spend watching and writing about weird movies, it's noteworthy to mention how much trouble Ben Wheatley's A Field in England gave me. Not because it's a bad film -- indeed it's quite the unique, weird, and fascinating feature -- but because I'm not sure "I get it." Most movie geeks get frustrated (perhaps even angry) when they cannot immediately decipher a strange movie, but it's actually pretty impressive when a film can A) throw you for a loop, B) yank you out of your comfort zone, and C) keep you interested even if you don't know exactly what you're watching.
 
In other words: A Field in England is not a traditional narrative. Those who enjoyed Mr. Wheatley's earlier films -- Down Terrace, Kill List, Sightseers -- will certainly appreciate what the director and his loyal team have concocted here, even if they don't fully "get" it. A movie need not be "deciphered" to be appreciated, and A Field in England is a perfect example of this theory.
 
A Field in England is about a troupe of 17th century British soldiers who retreat from a horrific battle, only to come across a mysterious and apparently mystical man who tells them of a treasure that is buried nearby. Unable to remove themselves from the magician's power, the three deserters become his servants. So the digging begins. And that's when things get really weird.
 
Almost aggressively strange in the way a good Ken Russell or Peter Greenaway film is aggressively strange, A Field in England is equal parts fascinating, maddening, beautiful, and disturbing. Those who go in expecting a traditional period piece thriller may find themselves aggravated with the weird directions the film explores, but those who are willing to surrender themselves to the offbeat "trip" that Wheatley and his collaborators have cooked up, well, those people might find a lot to appreciate here.
 
The sheer confidence inherent in producing such a "weird" movie is fascinating enough, but even if the narrative throws you a little bit, there are plenty of other assets worth appreciating. The cast, in particular, is quite good as they play with the material like it's a cross between Monty Python and William Shakespeare, and Laurie Rose's stark, lovely B&W cinematography is one of the film's most appealing components. 
 
But what's most impressive is the consistent oddball originality of the film. A Field in England is certainly not for all tastes, but as a unique combination of war movie, absurdist farce, and semi-disturbing horror story, it's almost a hypnotic movie experience. I'm not even sure I fully "get" A Field in England, but my inability to "translate" a piece art is not what matters. The filmmakers definitely "get" what they're doing, and I was just happy to watch the dark, funny, and unpredictable weirdness take place. Plus it's always nice to see a film that will almost definitely pay additional dividends after a second or third visit.
 

READ FEARNET'S PARTNER REVIEWS OF A FIELD IN ENGLAND


Doctors Spooked by Yemeni Girl Who Cries Tears of Stone

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Remember our story about  the unfortunate young man who weeps tears of blood? This recent case is just as bizarre... and also remains unexplained. 
 
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As shown in the footage below from Yemeni TV channel Azal, when 12-year-old patient Saadiya Saleh cries, she secretes strange crystal-like deposits from beneath her eyelids, which then pop out of her eyes as rock-hard “tears.” The clip also shows a small box of stones which are claimed to have been produced by Saadiya's eyes within the past few hours.
 
 
The creepy phenomenon has caused turmoil among locals, some of whom claim that the girl may be cursed or demonically possessed... but doctors are also concerned that the symptoms may point to an unknown illness which could strike others in the village.

Court’s in Session in ‘Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc’ Launch Trailer

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Japanese games are a special type of weird.  You get the insanity of designers like Suda51 and SWERY driving an industry that prides itself on mashing together genres in ways that really shouldn’t work, but they wind up doing so anyways.

Enter Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, a Playstation Vita release from NIS that takes the legal drama of Phoenix Wright and transplants it into a private school that’s run by a demonic bear.  Oh, and the school is the site of a series of grisly murders, and the students must hold a kangaroo court to try and finger the killer, lest the aforementioned demon bear punish them all with the appropriately Japanese-styled hell.

The launch trailer below outlines some of the lunacy, but I’m sure the game proper will deliver even more distinctly Japanese-flavored insanity than most Western brains can handle.

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc is out now for Playstation Vita.

 

 

Baby Spiders Turn Cannibal, Devour Their Mother from the Inside Out

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Remember that scene in Blade Runner when a character recalls a spider near her window that worked on a web all summer, only to be eaten alive by her young when they hatched? It's a creepy moment, and based on a very common occurrence in the arachnid world. Yes, a spider's first breakfast is sometimes Mom... and she often sacrifices herself willingly.
 
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Cannibalism may be an everyday nuisance for the average spider, but that doesn't make this clip from National Geographic any less shocking to watch. But not nearly as shocking as this man who beaks open a  wasp nest and gets a horrifying spider surprise.
 
 
The motivation for this self-sacrifice, called matriphagy (“mother-eating”), is that the baby spiders learn crucial hunting instincts immediately after hatching... and once they detect her movement on the web, it's not long before they get down to business.
 
Ready for more twisted spider videos? How about this clip of an artistically inclined arachnid that makes ghoulish sculptures of itself?

‘Murasaki Baby’ Toddling to Playstation Vita

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What do you get when you cross puzzle-platformer Escape Plan, the artwork of Tim Burton, and the nightmare I had after eating an entire pepperoni pizza before bed?  Something that looks an awful lot like Murasaki Baby, the dark action-adventure game coming to Playstation Vita from Italian developer Ovosonico.

Players control a mutant moppet by the name of Baby as she tries to navigate a terrifyingly surreal nightmare world using the Vita’s various control methods (touchscreen, gyro sensor, etc.) to solve the various puzzles the game throws at her.  There’s little else known about the game (like why the hell Baby’s mouth is on her forehead), but we’ll be sure to keep our eye on this bizarre title.

Murasaki Baby ill be out in 2014 for the Playstation Vita.

[Source: VG24/7]

 

 

Artist Draws Comics Depicting Deepest Darkest Fears of His Fans

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Deep Dark Fears

What's your biggest fear? A spider crawling into your mouth while you sleep? Being buried alive, perhaps? Or how about something a little less horrific, like public speaking? Well, whatever it is, if you submit it to LA-based artist Fran Krause, he just might turn it into a comic.

Krause runs the Tumblr blog Deep Dark Fears, and though he started off in 2012 by drawing cartoonish comics of his own personal fears, which include vampires biting his neck while he sleeps and rear bumpers of passing cars swiping his kneecaps clean off his legs, he now accepts submissions from readers, giving the same cartoon treatment to the fears of those who are fans of the blog. Recently submitted fears range from nobody having anything nice to say at your funeral to your organs being crushed while you sleep.

Check out a handful of our favorites below, and see many more over on Deep Dark Fears.

Deep Dark Fears

Deep Dark Fears

Deep Dark Fears

Deep Dark Fears

Deep Dark Fears

Deep Dark Fears

Chucky Attacks Again in Another Bus Stop Scare Prank

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Chucky scare prank

This past June, we showed you a hilarious montage from a Brazilian prank show, where they dressed up a diminutive actor as Chucky and put him behind a bus stop poster for a faux Child's Play sequel. Of course, when unsuspecting bus patrons came close to the poster, 'Chucky' lunged out at and scared the crap out of them. Now, a similar video has surfaced, which would appear to be inspired by that prank.

In this more recent one, the Chucky prank is given a bigger budgeted makeover, apparently in promotion of the November home video release of Curse of Chucky, over in Brazil. It's much the same set up as the one from this past summer, only the actor looks a whole lot more like Chucky, and the execution of the prank is a wee bit scarier than the one it was inspired by. And when I say a wee bit, I mean that as a serious understatement.

Check out video of the hilarious scare prank below, which takes the terror to a whole new level!

Now that's how you market a horror movie!

Book Review: 'Alien: Out of the Shadows' by Tim Lebbon

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Fifty-seven years passed between the events of Ridley Scott's Alien and James Cameron's Aliens, and during that entire time, Ellen Ripley slept in stasis. At least, that's what we were told. Now along comes author Tim Lebbon to tell us that wasn't actually the case.

Alien: Out of the Shadows, the first in a barrage of Alien books coming this year from Titan Books (more on those in a minute), begins an all-new tale about what happened during those "lost" five decades and change. The book picks up some 37 years after the destruction of the Nostromo. The Marion is a mining ship much like the Nostromo, crewed by a rough-edged bunch of space jockeys in charge of a mining operation on planet LV178. It's a boring, repetitive job right up until the day the miners discover something other than trimonite below the planet's surface. When several of those somethings find their way onto a couple of drop ships headed back to the Marion, the routine operation rapidly goes south.

Those somethings are, of course, aliens, and their presence on the drop ships proves disastrous. Both ships crash into the Marion, setting off a chain of death and destruction that whittles the ship's population down to a handful of people...and a few very unwelcome monsters. In a tense sequence that sets the tone for the rest of the book, the crew manages to isolate the damage – and the creatures – long enough to send out a distress signal and assess just how bad their situation has become. (Spoiler: VERY bad.) When a shuttle responds to the signal several weeks later, the crew hopes for a rescue - but instead they find a sleeping Ellen Ripley, a woman about to wake up to the fact that the nightmare she's been living has only just begun.

In many ways, Out of the Shadows echoes Cameron's film, and while it's always a thrill for hardcore fans to see callbacks to their favorite franchises, it makes Lebbon's job here difficult. We've already seen Ripley awaken from a long sleep; seen her come to grips with how long she's been gone, and how that absence impacted her daughter; and we've seen her face the realization that she hasn't escaped the aliens that terrorized her after all. Those parts of the story, and others which otherwise might have brought a chill to Alien fans, have already been mined for their emotional resonance. 

But Tim Lebbon is a pro, and a damn good writer. He's proven through volumes of original horror and fantasy work, not to mention several previous forays into established franchises (Star Wars: Dawn of the Jedi - Into the Void, the Cabin in the Woods novelization, and many others) that he knows how to build fascinating worlds and good solid characters, and that's just what he does here. Part of what makes those first two Alien films work so well is the attachment fans formed with the characters. Both of those films featured crews of men and women that felt real and alive; you got the sense with both the Nostromo's crew and the Colonial Marines that these were people who had been through the fire together. Lebbon establishes that same feeling with the Marion's crew, and the fact that so many of them are lost early on makes you root harder for the ones who are left. We all know Ripley's going to make it to the end of this particular tale, so it's critical that we're invested in the other characters to make the book work. Lebbon makes it work.

Other strong points include the book's pacing, which starts fast and keeps cranking, and its atmosphere. We know what the aliens are capable of, which makes it even more suspenseful as we watch the Marion's crew try to come to grips with what they're up against. Lebbon crafts several tense scenes, both onboard the crippled Marion and down in the mines on LV178, that keep the book moving forward. 

Of course, when you inject something new into established continuity, there will be some things to question, such as why Ripley never addresses any of these events when she's awakened in Aliens. Lebbon doesn't answer all those questions here, but there's a good reason why: Out of the Shadows is the first book in a trilogy. James A. Moore will pick up the threads with Sea of Sorrows (July 2014) and Christopher Golden will wrap the story up with River of Pain (November 2014). Hopefully everything will dovetail nicely into Cameron's film by the end of book three.

Alien: Out of the Shadows is a fun read, and while it may be too much for hardcore continuity-bound fans to accept, I think those looking for a fun read with plenty of familiar elements will enjoy it. Lebbon isn't looking to reinvent the franchise here – he's just trying to tell a kick-ass tale within the established boundaries. In that, I think he's succeeded.

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Alien: Out of the Shadows by Tim Lebbon from Titan Books (Available now)

Alien: Sea of Sorrows by James A. Moore from Titan Books (due out in July 2014)

Alien: River of Pain by Christopher Golden from Titan Books (due out in November 2014, but not available for pre-order yet)

Blu Gilliand is a freelance writer of fiction and nonfiction. He covers horror fiction at his blog, October Country, and contributes interviews to the Horror World website. Follow him on Twitter at @BluGilliand. 


Mezco Previews New Living Dead Dolls and 'Psycho' Plush

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Living Dead Dolls

With this year's Toy Fair on the horizon, right about now is a pretty damn exciting time to be a toy collector. All of our favorite companies are starting to preview their upcoming releases, and today we've got a sneak peek look at the new products that Mezco is going to have on display this coming weekend.

These photos come courtesy of the blog Idle Hands, and they show off a brand spankin' new upcoming series of the company's extremely popular Living Dead Dolls, which are based on myths and legends from around the world. As seen in the graphic above, the series includes five new dolls, inspired by the legends of Spring-Heeled Jack, the Banshee, underworld ruler Milu, the Chinese Hopping Vampire and the German demon Mephistopheles. Series 27 is set for release this summer.

Headless Horseman

Also shown off, and due out this summer, was a Headless Horseman Living Dead Doll. Just like the real thing, his pumpkin head is removeable!

Psycho mother

Perhaps the most exciting new offering from Mezco is this Psycho roto-plush doll, which is the very first Mrs. Bates collectible we've ever seen. Due out sometime this year, the doll consists of a rotocast head, arms and feet and a plush body, similar to Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers and Leatherface dolls that the company put out in the past.

If you haven't yet had your fill of horror toys today, check out these 10 horror toys that you absolutely need to have in your collection!

New Video Allegedly Shows Rogue Crocodile in England's River Avon

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Recent reports of a large crocodile seen swimming up the River Avon in southwest England – not exactly the creature's normal habitat – may now have visual proof, thanks to a newly-revealed video clip showing what may be a six-foot reptile cutting through the water.
 
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Tom Aditya, an official from the nearby town of Bradley Stoke, came to the Bristol Post with the video, which he says he shot last October while walking along the river between London and Pill. Police first declined viewing it, but several new reports of crocodile sightings in the region changed their minds.
 
While skeptics dismiss the shape as a floating log (which it very well could be), Aditya points out birds in the clip which seem to be alarmed, flying away from the object as it approaches. "I remember I could see its eyes there and at first I thought it could be a seal,” he told the Post,“but then it kept moving up the river slowly.”
 
 
He showed this footage to a friend in Florida, who theorized that the croc could be a member of the species gharial, which originates in the much warmer waters of India. “It may have reached here through any vessel that passed through the Bristol channel,” he said.
 
It seems crocs and gators just keep moving in on human turf, like this massive intruder who decided to take a nap in a hunting lodge... underneath an occupied bed!

This Extreme Vertical Wall Climb Could Be the Scariest Race Ever Filmed

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If you broke out in a cold sweat watching Monday's video of Alex Honnold climbing a 1750-foot vertical cliff without safety gear, then you're probably not going to have an easy time with this harrowing high-altitude clip – this time showing a pair of competing wall-climbers.
 
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Posted this week on Break.com (which we've found to be a bountiful source of heart-attack-inducing prank and scare videos), the footage appears to have been shot at Olympic Park in Salt Lake City, Utah, where two women can be seen racing to the top of a nearly vertical climbing wall (actually, it's worse – the structure curves back on itself after the midpoint) with nothing but fingers, toes and bags of chalk to keep from losing their grip.
 
Be sure to watch to the very end for the most terrifying moment of all... I won't spoil it for you, but I'm betting you can figure out what happens when the winner reaches the top.
 
 
Think you can handle more extreme heights? Check out this Chinese mountain temple where only the bravest stop for a cup of tea!

Gift Guide: Drippy Faucet Night Light

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drippy faucet night light

If that Uncle Fester lamp we told you about last week wasn't a creepy enough way to ward off the evil spirits at night, then how about this highly unique faucet night light, which our good pal Slimer appears to be dripping out of? With a twist of the handle, the light comes on, perpetually dripping a strange goop, with a luminescent glow. Think of it as your little radioactive ectoplasmic friend, there to protect you from the creatures that go bump in the night.

Or maybe it is the creature that goes bump in the night...

$99.95 on Etsy - custom orders can be placed, if you'd prefer your faucet night light to drip blood!

TV Autopsy: 'American Horror Story: Coven' - Final Thoughts on Season 3 and Predictions for Season 4

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I don’t know that Coven was my favorite season of American Horror Story, but it was certainly the best structured season. (I still think I liked Asylum better, if only because it was was pure, utter insanity.) Granted, it still had its issues (like how at the beginning of the season, Cordelia says that only a very special few witches develop multiple powers, but by the end of the season everyone had a half-dozen powers) but it was far more coherent than any previous season. The characters acted and reacted naturally, based within the rules that this world set up. The story was mostly linear. And the sets were just breathtaking.

I will say that I found the finale to be disappointing. It just fell flat. Much of this season was spent building up the Seven Wonders: how difficult they were, how dangerous they were, how only a select few could ever accomplish them. By my account, only one girl died during the Seven Wonders, and the others didn’t seem to have to try very hard to pass what ended up being more than half of the tasks. I also felt like Marie and Delphine’s storylines were wrapped up too easily. After hundreds of years, all it took was one girl with some legal mumbo-jumbo to void the contract? 

Looking to season four, I would love to see something set at a Dustbowl-era carnival, like Carnivale or Freaks. There have been some rumors that that might be the setting - then there have been some saying that won’t be it at all. According to EW.com, Ryan Murphy has said that it will mostly be set in the 1950s, and it will be “bizarre and crazy and gothic.” Jessica Lange will return, and has been “practicing her German accent.”

Based on these vague details, I have two guesses as to what season four will be. One would be to have Lange play a Marlene Dietrich-type starlet and set the action in the Golden Age of Hollywood. Decadent parties, drug-fueled nights, and scandal after scandal. Another, completely different direction, could be to set it just after WWII, and involve hunting Nazis or Nazis that have gone into hiding. And of course, these Nazis would be the occult Nazis, maybe trying to bring back Hitler. I always say, Nazis are the perfect villains. 

Central Michigan University Now Offering Zombie Apocalypse Course

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Students at Central Michigan University can study a wide assortment of apocalyptic scenarios – including a zombie uprising – in a new class about the hypothetical end of the world, titled From Revelation to "The Walking Dead."
 
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According to the online description, the course – which examines the apocalypse in literature, art, entertainment, religion and philosophy – was introduced by Philosophy & Religion teacher Kelly Murphy (pictured below), a self-professed fan of AMC's The Walking Dead. The curriculum will include clips from that series as well as from movies like Shaun of the Dead and 28 Days Later, and students will discuss “hypothetical ethical and theological problems that people could encounter in a post-apocalyptic world.”
 
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“The prevalence of apocalyptic stories in various media gives us a window into what people are worrying about, what they hope for and how they imagine they would react in the face of a cataclysmic event," says Murphy in the course summary.
 
“In the first few weeks, we watched a lot of clips from zombie films and basically went through a history of zombies,” says senior Devon Wright, who said the zombie tales reveal a lot about human nature in an extreme crisis. “In The Walking Dead, I think you’re more afraid of the people than the zombies, because you don’t know who you can trust,” he says. “You’re more afraid of humanity than the undead.”
 
Still need to do your zombie homework? Then read about this high school teacher who uses The Walking Dead video game as a teaching aid!

Salton Sea Beach, California - A Post-Apocalyptic Fish Graveyard

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The Salton Sea in California's desert is a huge lake that shouldn't be. Created accidentally at the beginning of the 20th century when irrigation routes from the Colorado River flooded the Salton Sink in the Coachella Valley. The spot was a popular tourist spot, and properties were snapped up by celebrities like Sonny Bono. After all, how often is there new waterfront property?

Of course, with no consistent water source the Salton Sea's water level fluctuates wildly, and the salinity grows ever higher, much of it being leeched out of the surrounding land (which also takes with it pesticides). By the 1970s, the water could no longer support the fish that called it home, and they died off by the millions, washing ashore. The area is described as smelling like an old fish market on a hot day. You might drive past and think it looks like a nice, quiet beach with sandy white shores - but the "sand" only looks so white because it is actually made from the bones of millions of dead fish.

The stench of rotting fish, as you can imagine, drives away those who once made Salton City (and neighboring Bombay Beach) their home. In its heyday, millions of people passed through the Salton Sea every year. As of the 2010 census, Salton Sea Beach reported about 400 residents; Bombay Beach reported barely 300. 

It is, however, popular with disaster tourists and urban explorers. Frequent flooding and its location atop the San Andreas fault have left many structures to fall into sinkholes or rust out. Many homes appear to be abandoned, families leaving everything behind. Probably to start a new life someplace that doesn't smell of decaying fish.

Plans to restore the Salton Sea began in the 1990s, when Sonny Bono went to Congress. Many, many different plans have been made for the area, and many, many delays have meant that nothing has happened. The most recent update from the government is that the restoration project will begin later this year. So if you want to "enjoy" this bit of "disaster tourism," better start planning your trip!

Photo credits: herobyday, Vice, brazilfox, ruggybear, wildcaught

Similar places you might want to visit, but definitely wouldn't want to live: Helltown, Ohio; Stull, Kansas; Centralia, Pennsylvania.


FEARNET Movie Review: 'Separation'

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While most indie horror films are interested in getting you as much "bang for the buck" as humanly possible, there are always a few filmmakers out there who insist on using the horror genre as a vehicle for plain, simple, and sometimes painfully "relatable" stories about the frank difficulties of normal life. (Check out films like Marianne, Absentia, or Citadel for a few great examples.) Simply put: we're all afraid of sharks, stalkers, and monsters; that's the easy stuff. So kudos to the independent filmmakers who make horror films and suspense thrillers about "normal" fears like loss, regret, betrayal, and isolation.

 
Already it sounds like Greg White's sanguine film Separation is a downbeat and miserable affair, but it's actually quite a calm, confident, and gradually engaging thriller about one married couple, their mysterious daughter, and a handful of hidden secrets that feel a bit random at the outset, but quickly congeal into a satisfying little movie. It's one of those movies where you'll keep guessing what the twists will be, and you may nail a few, but Mr. White also manages to stay ahead of even the more astute viewers.
 
All one needs to know is that Liz (Sarah Manninen) and Jack (Peter Stebbings) are a married couple in serious trouble. Early clues indicate that they've recently survived a horrible family tragedy, and it doesn't seem like moving into a big new house has done much to alleviate the couple's stress level. The husband and wife also have to deal with A) a daughter who clearly has some emotional issues, B) a mother-in-law who nitpicks a lot, and C) a bizarre neighbor who drops by late at night... just to say hi.
 
For a low-budget and dialogue-heavy thriller with a small cast and (at most) two locations, Separation manages to cover a lot of interesting ground. As the title suggests, Liz and Jack are clearly drifting apart, young Angie has a talent for getting lost while riding her bike, which leads to "separation" anxiety that any parent can relate to, and (of course) there seems to be something supernatural going on... because what is a ghost but a soul separated from its body?
 
Separation is a smart, quiet, and fascinating piece of "dramatic" horror storytelling; it's not about shocking you with simple scares. It's actually about normal fears we live with every day, and it handles them with a good deal of class, confidence, and insight. (It doesn't hurt that both leads are excellent and that there's a great sense of crafty energy once we're past Act I.) No gimmicks, no gore, just a nice feature-length Twilight Zone episode with a few cool ideas and some strong payoffs. 
 

READ FEARNET'S PARTNER REVIEWS OF SEPARATION

12 Off-Beat Valentine's Day Movies

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February is upon us which means an endless barrage of Valentine's Day reminders. But not everyone is a fan of Hallmark holidays.  This February 14th, you can snuggle up with someone special and watch TheNotebook, or you can check out these twisted and not-so-feel-good tales of love and physical affection.

The "Crazy in Love" Category

Haute Tension (2003)

Despite its one gaping flaw (those who have seen it know exactly what I mean), this popular French horror is the bleakest, bloodiest tale of unrequited love since the works of Shakespeare. It follows a young woman as she desperately tries to rescue her friend who has been kidnapped by a serial killer. When I think of lovelorn psychos, the final shot of this film definitely comes to mind. 

The Loved Ones (2009)

When a lonely Australian girl is turned down for prom by her crush, Brent, she takes matters into her own hands. Lola and her equally insane father throw an impromptu "prom" at their house and, whether he likes it or not, Brent is the guest of honor. John Brumpton and Robin McLeavy make a great pair of father-daughter nuts in this twisted, funny horror flick. 

Calvaire (2004)

Here is another French-language entry from the extreme French horror wave of the mid-00s.  This one hails from Belgium, however, and is probably the most bizarre of the bunch. Laurent Lucas plays Marc, a struggling singer whose caravan breaks down in the middle of nowhere. What follows - well, you just have to see it for yourself, but let's say Marc becomes the object of unwanted affection by the locals. 

The "If You Build Them, They Will Cum" Category

Frankenhooker (1990)

Cult favorite Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case) helmed this comedic twist on Mary Shelley's classic. Failed medical student James Lorinz (Street Trash) tries to re-animate his dead girlfriend using pieces of hookers but the creation escapes to turn tricks on the streets of Manhattan and kill her horny victims. As the titular miniskirt monster, Patty Mullen is perfection. Wanna date?

May (2002)

In Lucky McKee's directorial debut, Angel Bettis plays May, a lonely and disturbed young woman seeking companionship from more than just her childhood doll. She meets some people but when she realizes the ones she thought cared about her are not what they seemed, May decides to create the perfect life-mate using all the best parts. If you can't find a friend, make one. 

Bride of Re-Animator (1989)

In this sequel to Stuart Gordon's horror classic, Re-Animator, Drs Herbert West and Dan Cain are at it again, this time attempting to create a re-animated woman using body parts (including the heart of Barbara Crampton's character in the first film). Meanwhile, the evil Dr. Hill is back for revenge. This Brian Yuzna-directed sequel does not nearly live up to its predecessor but it's splattery fun and most of the original cast is back.

The "Choose Abstinence" Category

Shivers (1975)

One of the earliest feature films of David Cronenberg, Shivers takes place in a high-rise apartment complex with a parasite problem. This particular parasite turns its hosts into sex-crazed hornballs determined to spread the infection venereally. It may sound like a porn parody of Night of the Creeps but this was Cronenberg just starting to show off his knack for body horror. 

Teeth (2007)

Few things make a guy's manhood shrink up quite like the concept of vagina dentata. Originating in tribal folk lore, it was often told as a cautionary tale against rape and sex with strangers, as such an act would result in castration. In Teeth, a young Christian girl is afflicted with it and her toothy vag protects her against perverts. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bedroom....

Contracted (2013)

Okay, so sex parasites and toothed baby holes are not a real-life threat, but STDs sure are! In this horror flick from last year, a young girl contracts a strange disease after she is roofied and raped at a party. More than just sores and itching, this disease causes her hair to fall out, her eye to turn white, and her skin to rot. Her brain does not fare well, either. Sure, it's a bit over-the-top, but it echoes the all-too-real dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. Be safe out there, kids.

The "Couple That Slays Together Stays Together" Category

Sightseers (2013)

Two lonely nerds go on a caravan adventure and become unlikely serial killers with alarming ease in this English black comedy from director Ben Wheatley and producer Edgar Wright. As the leads, Wright regulars Alice Lowe and Steve Oram are simultaneously repulsive and adorable lovebirds. They're not exactly Mickey and Mallory Knox in terms of ruthlessness but they are fucked-up nonetheless. 

Heavenly Creatures (1994)

Between shooting spatterfests and hobbits, Peter Jackson directed this dark drama based on the real life Parker-Hulme murder case from 1954 in New Zealand. It's about two young girls who become inseparable in their borderline-lesbian relationship. When their parents threaten to keep them apart, the girls plot a murder. It's more drama than horror but a solid piece about extreme love from a beloved horror filmmaker. 

Psychos in Love (1987)

If you're looking for something less heavy and more gory, try on this horror-comedy about a bartender and a manicurist who fall in love over the fact they both hate grapes and love killing people. When their chopped-up body parts clog the garbage disposal, they end up being blackmailed for parts by a cannibal plumber. This zany tale of love and murder is a very different sort of romantic comedy.

Check Out The Original Short Film Version Of 'Excision'

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One of my personal favorite horror films of 2012 was Richard Bates Jr.'s debut feature 'Excision.' Back then, I was able to interview the writer/director over on Icons Of Fright to get a bit more insight into this strangely unique and wonderful odd film. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the story initially started out as a short film before becoming a feature. It's not uncommon for stellar shorts to be turned into full length films. In fact, just a few months back, fellow FEARNET scribe John Squires wrote a piece showcasing 10 horror films that originated as short films. And now, the filmmaker just tweeted a link to a You Tube page housing the long coveted short, which you can watch for yourself below.

The story of 'Excision,' both for the short & feature centers around the highly intelligent yet mildly disturbed Pauline, a teen who obsesses over an eventual career in surgery and who is plagued by strange erotic nightmares of the macabre. There's a disconnect between her parents and peers, but she loves her ailing little sister more than anything. And she will do anything to "fix" her. If you haven't seen the feature length film yet, I'd avoid seeing the short below until after since the short carries a lot of the same major beats, including the ending. But if you've seen the movie, it's worth it to carve out 18 minutes to see the blue-print for where it all came from.


What do you think of the original short film that inspired 'Exicison?' Read Scott Weinberg's FEARNET review of 'Excision.' And stay tuned. Richard Bates Jr. just wrapped on his follow up film 'Suburban Gothic!' We'll keep you posted as soon as we hear more!

 

Giant Scary Robots Invade Congo's Capital... and Direct Traffic?

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Sure, giant robots are cool and all, but would you really want one stomping into a busy downtown intersection and ordering everyone around? That's basically what happened in Kinshasa, the capital city of Congo, when a pair of eight-foot metal behemoths were installed to direct traffic at the city's busiest intersections.
 
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Photo: Junior D. Kannah/AFP/Getty Images
 
The Washington Post reports that the real-life RoboCops (who run on solar power) have proven very efficient in their jobs, which had previously been handled by human traffic controllers, and it seems the secret of their success is sheer intimidation. Seriously, look at this thing... would you throw attitude at that? What if he's packing a death ray?
 
Congo_Robot3
Photo: Junior D. Kannah/AFP/Getty Images
 
“If a driver says that [he]'s not going to respect the robot because it’s just a machine, the robot is going to take that and there will be a ticket for him,” said the machines' inventor, Isaie Therese, in an interview with CCTV Africa (watch the whole thing below).
 
 
“I’m very happy with the robot’s work,” a Kinshasa motorcyclist told the network. “Because when the traffic police control the cars here, there’s still a lot of traffic. But since the robot arrived, we see truly that the commuters are respectful.”
 
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Photo: Junior D. Kannah/AFP/Getty Images
 
Still not convinced our robotic overlords have begun their takeover? Check out our story about a creepy cyber-cube that walks on its own and can repair itself!

Artist Turns Patrick Bateman Into Other Iconic Characters

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American Psycho

Horror movies have introduced us to some pretty crazy psychopaths throughout the years, and one of the craziest is no doubt Patrick Bateman, who fully embodies the title of American Psycho. What makes Bateman so frightening is that he hides under a mask of complete sanity, to the point that you'd have no idea what he's really all about until you find yourself facing down the business end of a nail gun, axe or chainsaw.

Much like Batman, Bateman wears that mask to protect and hide his true identity, and this brilliant art series from Brazilian artist 'Butcher Billy' has a whole lot of fun with that, depicting Bateman as all sorts of other beloved pop culture characters - including the aforementioned Batman. He calls the series 'The American Psycho Bloody Project,' and in it he turns the iconic image of a blood-covered, screaming Bateman into everyone from Bart Simpson to Captain America.

Check out the art below, which we spotted over on Viewer Discretion Advised. See more, and purchase prints, in Butcher Billy's Red Bubble store!

American Psycho

American Psycho

American Psycho

American Psycho

American Psycho

If you're a fan of American Psycho, you're gonna love this hilarious hipster spoof video, which recreates several scenes from the film!

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